Shades of Green
by Kitten
Summary: A series of one-shots focusing on Envy.
1. Chapter 1

Disclaimer: I do not own Full Metal Alchemist or the song "Masquerade".

There was a masquerade ball being held at the Fuhrer's mansion and everyone got to go. Except him.

Sloth was attending as "Juliet Douglas", dressed in one of Dante's old dresses. It had to be hemmed like no tomorrow since the homunculus was taller and had a broader chest than the Master. But the end result left Envy with no doubts as to why "that bastard" married Trisha Elric.

Lust was attending with a somehow acquired date with Jean Havoc, who Envy knew was one of the Flame Colonel's men. She was even allowed to go out and buy her own gown since anything that the Master had around would certainly _not_ fit the busty Lust.

Gluttony and Wrath refused to be parted from their favored female homunculi and were happily dressing up themselves. And all it took was a simple whine from Wrath and a pathetic look from Gluttony to get invited.

_There was a masquerade ball being held at the Fuhrer's mansion and everyone got to go. Except me_, he thought miserably with an envious sigh.

Dante had even received an invite, and it wasn't from Pride. No, Envy remembered with a scowl. The Flame Colonel _himself _asked the Master out. Not so fond memories of Greed danced through his head before the sin jumped to his feet with a determined look on his face.

Since Dante firmly ordered the homunculus to stay put, Envy decided he would have _his_ _own_ little masquerade ball right in their underground lair. He just had to close his eyes to remember the sights and sounds of a time far off when he last attended such an event.

The chandelier would be alit with thousands of candles. The air would be smoky and filled with the scent of powder, perfume and sweat. Couples would be gathered around in conversation or dance.

Envy began to sway and hum a familiar tune. If he concentrated enough, he could almost remember the words.

_Masquerade, paper faces on parade!_

_Masquerade, hide your face so the world will never find you._

The homunculus actually wished he could do just that. He could, but the world... more precisely the Master, had a funny way of finding him again.

While Pride was climbing his way up the military ladder, while the Master was teaching the one who would later teach the famed Elric brothers alchemy, Envy had found his calling.

_Masquerade, every face a different shade!  
Masquerade, look around there's another mask behind you!_

A troupe of performers had come through town and didn't seem to mind the strange young man who joined them. He was a consummate actor, a skilled acrobat and never seemed to mind the strangeness of the others. What was a few circus freaks to an abomination?

_Masquerade! Grinning yellows, spinning reds.  
Masquerade! Take your fill let the spectacle astound you!_

And all it took was a return trip through his "hometown" many years later to change everything. The Master was through with her student, a new Lust had arrived and Dante had some news that would make Envy see red. Hohenheim had himself a perfect little family. He left the troupe with only a name and an address. Elric, Resembool.

_Masquerade! Seething shadows breathing lies.  
Masquerade! You can fool any friend who ever knew you!_

He saw them, walking down the road. Hohenheim was holding the hands of a short version of him, helping the little boy walk along a stone fence. His perfect little wife laughed along beside them holding another little boy, this one a mere infant.

And they _saw_ him and _talked_ with him. Hohenheim didn't even _recognize_ Envy underneath the guise he wore. He learned the wife's name was Trisha and the two boys were Edward and Alphonse. The perfect little family...

Back in the present day, Envy stopped humming and opened his eyes. The vast ballroom of the hideout was empty of its imagined occupants. The sights and smells vanished. Only a few candles in the chandelier were lit.

He was alone.

_Masquerade! Leering satyrs, peering eyes.  
Masquerade! Run and hide but a face will still pursue you!_

As he collapsed in a miserable heap, Envy knew whose face would always pursue him.

His own.


	2. Dream

His skin feels as if a thousand drops of rain are beating down upon him in the darkness of the empty room. _I'm numb_, he realizes as he pushes his body up from the cool concrete floor with trembling arms.

His arms give out on him and he falls to the hard floor in an undignified heap. The only sound he hears is the sound of ragged breaths escaping from his chapped lips.

_This is a dream, _something inside him says. _It's all a dream._

He rolls onto his back and feebly brushes back locks of blond hair from his face. A quiet, bleak and deeply humored laugh escapes from him.

_Now I definitely know I'm dreaming_, he says to himself. "Wouldn't be...caught _dead _with blond hair." _It's all just a dream._

He wonders if there's a mirror somewhere in the room. A mirror to see, if along with the golden locks of hair, if he also had the gold eyes of his former self. See if his face had transformed into the face of a younger image of the man he despised the most, _his father._

He shivers as his eyes adjust to the gloom of the chilly room. He can now make out designs on the walls and ceiling. _Alchemy_, he realizes with a frown. _What is an array doing in my dream?_ He looks up at the ceiling and the blood in his veins run cold.

Envy knows what the small shard of white stuck to the ceiling is. He has never actually _seen_ who that tiny piece of bone once belonged to. But the homunculus knows it's him. The human him.

Memories came flooding back to him in a rush.

He came back to his Master full of pride with the news he had found Hohenheim. He delightfully told her the details of how he had stalked the alchemist who had created and abandoned him. Told her how he beat the man bloody and finally tore him in half with his bare hands.

He remembered the tears that had gathered in his father's eyes. Watched as his gold eyes lost their light and turned dull. Burned the image of the man's blood pooled around his body, staining his clothes and hair crimson into his mind.

Envy didn't see his Master's smug gaze morph into horror and then fury. He was too busy laughing. He missed the moment when she clapped her hands and a large set of hands ripped up from the ground around him. He only caught the faint sign of movement before the earthen hands crashed around him.

He awoke in a dark room. His skin felt as if a thousand drops of rain were beating down upon him. He pushed his weak body up from the cool concrete floor and his arms fall out from under him.

_This is a dream, _something inside him screamed. _It's all a dream._

But deep down, Envy knew this was no dream. It was a nightmare.


	3. A Profesional Opinion: part 1

Someone long ago once suggested Envy seek professional help. He didn't remember his exact reaction to the suggestion...just that a week later Dante was down one husband and there was a new homunculus around.

Envy gazed up at the nondescript building in front of him, kicked at the red and beige bricks by the glass double doors. Peeked in the tinted windows and finally walked inside.

The secretary greeted him with an amused smile as he sauntered up to her desk. _She remembered the strange looking young man. He was hard to forget... _

"One o'clock for Doctor Rue." He muttered. The woman tittered and picked up the phone to announce his arrival. It was one on the dot when Envy walked into the doctor's office and sat down on the couch opposite of his shrink.

"Anything you wish to announce?"

"Nothing I can think of offhand." he inquired with his trademark smirk. "Other than I've been impersonating a holy man"

"How does that make you feel? Being someone you're not."

"Pretty darn spiffy!"

The doctor chuckled and asked, "Any more nightmares?"

Envy scowled and crossed his arms in front of him. "Don't know why I even told you about the stupid things."

"They're not stupid. They're insight to your true feelings about your father."

"I hate him!" Envy screamed. "He left me and..."

"Said some pretty bad things, yes I know."

"He forgot about me." Envy buried his hands into his long green hair and tried not to let tears fall from his eyes. "And then my _mom_ has to go and marry random jerks who can't see past their own..."

"Come now, you know my policy against vulgarity." The doctor warned. "So... it makes you mad when your mother tries to fill the void your father left in your lives."

"It makes me _mad_ when they think they can rule over me or be my _friend_. You know what the last guy did?"

"No, but I bet you're going to tell me."

"He has the b- _gall_ to take me fishing!" Envy exclaimed throwing his hands up in irritation. "And he's like" A quick flash of light spilled over the young man and a copy of a dapper older man in a suit sat in his place.

"Now _son_, you and me gotta get along. For _her_ sake, you see. Dante's got a bit of a shine towards you..."

Another quick flash of light and Envy sat before the doctor in his preferred form. "_Got a shine towards me?!_ I'm her _son_ for Christ's sake...and she doesn't even _tell_ these guys! Oh sure, let them believe I'm sleeping with her too."

"So, why don't _you_ tell them who you are?"

"Because they're not going to be around long enough for it to matter." He replied with a brief smile so full of glee, it was down right sinister.

"How is everything else? Getting along with the new... co-worker?"

"Sloth?" Envy shrugged nonchalantly and avoided looking at the doctor. "I don't see _her_ much. She calls the Master once in awhile, they talk for a few minutes and that's it."

Dr Rue nodded and jotted a few notes down in the folder on the desk. "Back to the nightmares.."

"They're stupid."

"You had one lately." The doctor confirmed more than asked. "It started out like the others; you're in a lab..."

"Cellar lab." Envy corrected crossing his arms in front of him with a mutinous expression.

"The lambs are flickering, you can hear the sound of retching over the pounding of your heart. You hear something else then, crying?"

"Curses. He's crying _and_ cursing." He muttered. "Says stuff like, _'It's all wrong.' 'An abomination, a _horrible_ travesty.'_ Then I'm reaching out to him because I _know_ him. It's _Daddy_ and _Daddy _can fix everything."

Envy let's out a noise suspiciously sounding sniff before continuing, "But he's looking at me with such _revulsion_."

The cute form with wild green hair and feline like violet eyes flickered momentarily into the form of a handsome young man before changing back. Envy's androgynous voice deepened to one more fitting of the form with its golden eyes and long hair of spun gold.

"With such _loathing_." The darker voice hissed. "And then he has the nerve to turn and walk away."

A moment of quiet passed between them, one which neither doctor nor patient were willing to break. Dr Rue jotted down a few more notes in the file before breaking the menacing silence.

"Then you wake up."

Envy jumped, startled out of his stormy thoughts before nodding.

"Every time." he replied in his regular voice. Dr Rue took it as a good sign and recorded more observations in the homunculus's file. The doctor looked up at him to gauge his reaction to the next question.

"And what about _Edward_?"

Envy snapped to his feet and was on the desk in the doctor's face in less than a heartbeat, his face a glowering mask of rage. Eyes clouded with scalding fury met a cool gaze behind a pair of glasses.

"Where did you hear _that name_?"

"The newspapers." Dr Rue replied calmly. "I read about an occurrence in the town of Lior where a priest was involved in illegal alchemy. That would the holy man you spoke of earlier, correct?"

Envy visibly coiled in his temper as he smiled and returned to his seat. "Very clever, doctor. Not everyone would have made those connections."

"Clever enough to also realize you're avoiding the issue. Now about Edward and his brother?"

"The Full Metal Pipsqueak and his walking sardine can?" Envy replied with another disturbingly cheery grin. "What about them?"

Dr Rue wrote something in the folder before responding, "You once said your father was an alchemist named Hohenheim."

"Your point?" he inquired mildly. The doctor noticed a muscle near his left eye was beginning to tick.

"Edward and Alphonse's father is also an alchemist named Hohenheim. It's a fairly unique name and rather suspicious for two men with identical names to have eerily similar interests." The doctor smirked. "It makes me wonder if they are related somehow."

"Perhaps they are." Envy said with a smile.

"I don't think they're related... but I _do_ believe that the brothers and yourself are."

"And what gives you that idea?"

"Your reaction along with your words." Dr Rue replied. "I have never seen you in any of our prior meetings react to anyone except your father in the manner you did when I mentioned Edward's name."

"He reminds me of _the bastard_."

"And why is that? Does Full Metal act like your father?"

The homunculus glared at his shrink without a word. Dr Rue folded her hands in a poise of tranquility awaiting his terse answer.

"No. The bastard's tall and calm while the pip-squeak has a fuse to match his height."

The doctor disguised a laugh behind a cough, "So... why do hate the Elrics?"

"For carrying _that bastard's_ blood in his veins!" Envy snapped pushing himself to his feet and grabbed a hold of her lapels, hauling the doctor over the desk as he changed.

Tawny colored hair briefly filled Dr Rue's vision as Envy jerked his shrink up level with his face. Gold eyes not purple bore into the startled blue eyes of the doctor.

"So _Doctor Rue_, are you satisfied with the answer?" the dark voice from before inquired. "Do you feel _clever_ now you know y_es_, I _am_ related to _Edward_ and _Alphonse _Elric?"

"Do you feel better admitting who you are?"

The composed way the doctor responded left him staring at her momentarily speechless. Envy gently set Dr Rue onto her feet and stepped back away from her. Uncertainty replaced the sudden rage in his eyes.

The doctor opened her mouth to say something just as her phone rang. With a sigh and a glance at her patient, she walked back around the desk and answered the phone. Envy took the opportunity to change into his preferred form and sit back down on the couch.

"Yes?"

...

Dr Rue briefly glanced at Envy and sat down behind her desk before responding, "That's fine. Thank you."

Envy watched his doctor through his tangled bangs hang up the phone and close his file folder. She tilted her head down with a smile and the homunculus lifted up his head.

"I am reluctant to admit that your time here is up." Dr Rue announced. Envy rose to his feet the same time his doctor did.

"Next time you come, bring me a souvenir from you travels" the doctor said as she saw him to the door and Envy laughed.

"And work on your temper." Dr Rue added in a sing-song tone of voice. "I find counting to ten works wonders."

"I would have to count to _one hundred_ and ten." Envy told her as he left with a wave. As he left the building, the homunculus confessed to himself that maybe seeking professional help was a good idea after all.

Back inside her office, Dr Rue fell into her chair, pressed a button on her phone and laid her head on the desk.

"He's got some serious issues." The doctor said letting out a weary sigh.

"I have faith in your abilities."

"Over four hundred years of sadness, anger and confusion isn't going to be solved in my lifetime. You know that."

"... How has he been doing?"

"He's doing well, considering. I finally got to see what he actually looks like for longer than a millisecond." Dr Rue lifted her head up with a smirk. "Envy's getting better at keeping up that facade of his when upset. I had to goad him pretty bad to get a reaction."

"Are you alright?" a note of concern entered his voice.

"Just fine." She assured. "He was just looking for a reaction and when I took your advice and stayed calm, he backed off."

"Still so much like a child."

"Yes he is and every child needs their father."

Hohenheim's sigh carried over the phone, "Does he still intend to kill me on sight?"

"I'm afraid so."

"Then I can't see him."

"Then...you might want to go home."

"Not yet."

"_Hohenheim_"

"I have to go, my train is ready to leave."

Before she could say another word, the phone clicked signaling the end of the call. Dr Rue pressed another button on the phone, buzzing her secretary.

"Yes?"

"Has my two o'clock appointment arrived yet?"

"Yes doctor, Alphonse Elric has just arrived."

"Send him in."


	4. A Profesional Opinion: part 2

He went through the same pattern as before prior to his appointment with his shrink. Envy gazed up at the nondescript walls in beside him, kicked at the wood paneling, peeked in the door before finally walking inside. At one on the dot, he sat down in front of the doctor. The pattern was something he established and refused to change.

_Anything you wish to announce?_

"I finally talked with Edward." He announced with his trademark grin. Dr Rue looked impressed and silently clapped her hands.

"I think it went very well, Doctor. I told him exactly how I felt and then kicked his a—"

_Come now, you know my policy against vulgarity._ The doctor warned and Envy nodded as he waved his hand dismissively.

"Fine, I kicked his _butt _and it felt great! A good stress reliever, I think we should do it again some time."

The doctor chuckled and asked, _Any more nightmares?_

"They're gone." Envy said firmly with a scowl as he crossed his arms in front of him. "Since sparring with _Edward_, I haven't had a single dream about the past."

_You have different nightmares now,_ Dr Rue replied and Envy nearly lunged toward her. Nearly grabbed her by her white little lab coat and shook the doctor hard enough to give her whiplash

Instead began counting to ten as she once told him to do. At thirty, his temper waned and he was able to form calm, coherent words.

"I'm in the lab again. The cellar lab just like all the other times but I don't hear any crying or cursing..."

_What do you hear?_

"Laughter. The lamps are sputtering around me as I climb up some stairs that I've never noticed before." Envy said in a distant voice, lost in the memory of the dream. "The wood creaks under my feet and it doesn't faze me that all of a sudden I have a human form. Strange..."

_You climb up a set of stairs, where do they lead?_ Dr Rue urged.

"To a door." Envy replied and began to pace. "I open it and follow the laughter to where it's coming from. It leads down a hallway and into a living room I've never seen."

_What's in the living room_?

"_Daddy_ and he's not alone. The shrimp and the rust bucket are with him and as I walk in, all of them stop laughing to stare at me."

_They're not happy to see you there, are they? _She confirmed. _Does anyone say anything to you?_

Envy snorted, "_He_ starts ordering me to get out and informing me that I've been replaced with better sons, more perfect than I ever could be."

_You gotta be kidding me,_ the doctor remarked with a shake of her head.

"And then _Edward_ pipes in about something about how any father could ever want an inhuman cross dressing palm tree for a son. Which, thinking upon that now, doesn't really hurt as much as it did when I dreamt it."

_That's good. Better to be a stylish tree than a __crustacean that never changes his clothes,_ Dr Rue exclaimed cheerfully.

"What _did _hurt was what _baby brother_ said." Envy said with a scowl as he stopped pacing and crossed his arms in front of him. "That he may be a suit of armor but at least _he_ and Edward have souls."

_There are people with souls that are more inhuman on the inside than newborn_ _homunculi are on the outside. _She told him. _A soul doesn't guarantee love or humanity._

"But I'm not perfect!" Envy screamed at the doctor. He began throwing things around her in his fury. A stool with a broken leg sailed past her. A vase crashed alarmingly close to her head, disturbing her short red hair. All the while the homunculi vented, the doctor quietly sat in a poise of tranquility, blind to the destruction around her.

When Envy ran out of things to throw, his expression stilled and smoothed into one more composed. His rasping breaths filled the silence as he began to count to ten.

_Feel better?_ Dr Rue inquired calmly. He shot her a dirty look and began to despise how calm she could be even in...

"Envy." Dante said in a mildly disapproving tone. The homunculus turned in surprise and saw his elderly master standing in the doorway holding a pale handkerchief to her face. She stepped inside and saw Dr Rue sitting in the chair in front of the sin. She sighed and Envy looked away guiltily.

"I…."

"Hasn't the girl been through enough?" Dante inquired kindly as she walked in. She tipped his chin up with her free hand.

"My dear child, if you must _insist_ on continuing your therapy, "she told him once they were eye to eye. "Do it at the cemetery. I can't have a corpse stinking up my home, now can I?"

"No Master."

"That's a good boy." Dante said as she patted his cheek, turned and walked away.

Envy watched her go and returned his gaze to the remains of what had been Doctor Rue. Her eyes blindly gazed at him, her face calm, her head hanging abnormally off to one side. He closed his eyes as his mind began to relive _that_ day...

_It began innocent enough. She asked him the same question she began every appointment with. _

"_Anything you wish to announce?"_

_Envy smirked as he perused the shelves that filled his doctor's office. In the corner of his eye, he caught her smirking as well and the doctor shaking her head._

"_The Lior thing's done with." He said examining her diploma. Dr A. Rue, it read in big fancy script. "What's the A stand for _Dr Rue_?"_

_His shrink tisked, "This session isn't about learning about me, it's about you."_

_Envy moved to the next item on the shelf, a picture of a younger version of Dr Rue holding a kitten. "You tell me yours, I'll tell you mine."_

_An eyebrow raised delicately on the doctor's face as she jotted something in Envy's file._

"_Oh? So the name that's in your file _isn't_ your real name?" she looked up and gave him a small wry grin. _

"_You sound shocked." He chuckled. "Here I thought you were clever enough to realize."_

_In the reflection of the silver picture frame, Envy saw her grin turn suspiciously guilty. By the time he turned around though, the doctor had hidden the look behind one of mild curiosity. He turned back around and moved to the next item on the shelf. A picture frame face down..._

_Envy heard her sigh as he reached out to flip the picture over._

"_It won't matter." She replied and he paused._

"_Why is that, Doctor?"_

_Dr Rue didn't reply and watched calmly as her patient turned the picture over. She saw the precise moment Envy's nonchalant look shifted toward one of rage. She jotted his reaction down and a few personal observations before closing the file and walked around the desk toward him._

_She knew what he would see in the picture: Her standing beside the familiar figure of __Hohenheim__ Elric. His smiling face, his long blond hair and sad gold eyes nearly identical to the young man now standing before her._

"_Why" Envy hissed in his natural voice. He cracked the glass in the frame as Dr Rue leaned back against her desk, awaiting the inevitable._

"_Why what, Envy?" she asked. "Why are you my patient? Why I never told you I knew your father? Why have I been trying to help you?"_

"_Why did you betray me?" Envy asked quietly, the sound of the frame warping into crashed scrap filling the room._

_Dr Rue smiled sadly and shook her head, "Do what you wish."_

_Envy spun toward her and he tossed down the wreckage in his fists thunderously. He began to stalk toward her, her sad tranquility only incensed him more._

"_Do what I wish?" he repeated with contempt. He shook her, caring not if he hurt her. And when Dr Rue only smiled, Envy did the last thing he thought he'd ever do._

_He hit her_

_The snapping of her neck echoed in the room. She seemed to fall in slow motion from his suddenly numb hands. A blanket of warm fuzz enveloped the __homunculi and his knees gave out._

Envy found himself back in his room, his knees stinging where they had hit the rubble strewn floor. His cheeks were damp and he wiped away the tears.

Afterward, he recalled gathering his file and the doctor's remains. He remembered breaking a window and gently laying Dr Rue outside, then sometime later in the day dousing the office with something and setting it on fire.

Distantly, Envy heard the clock downstairs chime two o'clock as he pulled himself to his feet and pulled his file from Dr Rue's cold dead fingers. He sat on the floor in front of the body and began to read the final notes she had took the day she died.

'_He's found __that__ picture, the one of his father when he worked on my parents' farm. He looks P.O.'ed'_

'_Hohenheim, why ever did I let you talk me into this...'_


	5. A Profesional Opinion: end

Author's note: This contains some FMA movie spoilers. Don't read if you don't want to know.

* * *

"Hello son," he greeted wryly, as if he wasn't a small human with a very angry dragon sliding menacingly toward him.

"So nice to see you." Hohenheim added with a weak smile. Envy snarled at the man he called father and sunk his teeth straight through the man's body. The shadowy humans later to be called Nazi's seemed rather pleased with _The Great Serpent's_ reaction and wandered off.

Envy jerked his head side to side, snapping the chains holding his father captive and, for the first time in centuries, the homunculus felt his father's hands on him. They were strangely gentle on the dragon he had become.

_He seems__ to...could he be... hugging me?_ Envy thought and tossed his head back and forth, causing Hohenheim to vomit blood.

"And here I thought we could finally have a heart-to-heart." The former alchemist chuckled.

"Stop messing with me!" Envy growled.

Hohenheim was silent and then...

"...I'm sorry."

"No you're not." Envy snapped and the man sighed.

"Still so much like a child." The dragon heard him say and just to be spiteful, Envy ground his teeth. Hohenheim let out a gasp of pain and then let out a series of raspy chuckles.

"This is going well," he said hoarsely. "Abbi would be proud."

A shiver went down Envy's serpentine spine. _Abbi...Could that be... _A memory stirred within the recesses of his mind.

He was standing in a pristine office. The walls were off white, a couch he knew to be deceptively comfy sat before large dark wood desk that lay in front of a large bay window. There was a girl...rather, a young woman...with short red hair and calm blue eyes that seemed to see beyond appearances.

Envy wasn't looking at her; he was examining the trinkets she kept in her office. She previously had asked him to bring her a souvenir but he was mean and purposely didn't bother. _And it irked him that she didn't care._ He saw a framed diploma and asked.

"What's the A stand for_ Dr Rue?" _

"Little girl was the cleverest thing." Hohenheim said bringing Envy back to the present. "I wasn't the least bit surprised when I heard she became a psychologist."

"Even as a child, she was easy to talk to." He continued then chuckled, "Guess that's how I ended up talking about..." suddenly the alchemist faltered into silence.

"Me." Envy finished. He began to fill ill...

Silence engulfed father and son. Around them, lamps guttered and evil minded humans muttered amongst themselves. Their plots of political upheaval were nothing to the dragon and the rotting soul in its mouth.

"She told me that every child needs their father." Hohenheim revealed breaking the stillness. "She told me I might want to go home and I told her no."

He let out a disgusted snort and winced at the pain the effort brought, "Abigayle never said things outright; she'd advise or offer insightful tidbits."

"And didn't like _vulgarity._" Envy added and his father laughed.

"No, she heard enough from her mother's many boyfriends."

Envy had to laugh. _So her mother was like mine. _

"I've often wondered what became of that girl." Hohenheim mused and the brief moment of happiness the homunculi felt soured into the sick taste of blood.

"I went by her office when I was in Central and found it had burnt to the ground years earlier. I even asked Alphonse who I learned was another of her patients. No one knew anything about Abbi."

_The snapping of her neck echoed in the room. She seemed to fall in slow motion from his suddenly numb hands. A blanket of warm fuzz enveloped the __homunculi and his knees gave out._

"She's... dead." Envy confessed and began babbling.

Hohenheim was silent. A_ picture, getting mad _and _broke neck_ were the only things he comprehended. From the information gathered, the alchemist put together a reasonable understanding of the events leading toward Dr Rue's death.

Abbi had a picture of her and him together in her office which Envy discovered. She calmly accepted his anger and told him he could express his displeasure anyway he wanted. He lost his temper over the doctor's composed resignation and struck her.

He obviously regretted striking her, the alchemist heard the sin keep saying he didn't mean to. Whether he meant didn't mean to hit her at all or hit Abbi so hard or even both his father left unasked. Hohenheim didn't wish to risk getting chomped in half. What remained of his failed human transmutation was still a huge dragon and he _was_ currently in the creature's mouth.

"Master had her buried in the yard, but...."

"But?" Hohenheim inquired but Envy was silent.

The homunculus didn't want to admit to digging up his shrink's corpse and recreating their therapy sessions every time he ran into his father's other sons. Nor did Envy want to admit his habitual grave robbing forced Dante to hide Dr Rue's body within his human counterpart's tomb just to make him quit.

His father reached up with a groan and patted his snout. Envy just _knew_ the man was knowledgeable of his activities and the final resting place of Dr Abigayle Rue.

"We've both made mistakes." He told his son. "I shouldn't have called you those horrible names. I shouldn't have abandoned you. I should have at least contacted you myself and not cajoled Abbi into cleaning up my mess."

He sighed, "She even went the extra mile for Alphonse and I can't help feeling grateful. He would have been a wreck without her and turned out just like..." Hohenheim winced and could see all the ground he gained with Envy slip away.

"Go ahead and _say it_." He snapped. "Your _precious baby boy_ would have turned out just like _me_."

"Probably." Hohenheim replied with a resigned sigh.

"I hate you." Envy growled.

"I hate myself too."

The dragon and the alchemist were silent once more. It seemed like hours before the taboo was broken. Someone creped out of the shadows below them. Long blond hair glinted in the lamp light. Gold eyes examined the puzzle that was an alchemic array.

_It was Edward!_ Both of them realized nearly at the same moment.

Envy heard Edward muttering to himself as he examined the giant array. He smiled at the humorous observations concerning his fellow humans in this new home of his. Then the dragon heard his brother gasp when he realized what it was under his nose.

Hohenheim saw him struggle with the puzzle before him. _What was an alchemic array doing in a world with no alchemy? _He watched in quiet horror as the eldest of his and Trisha's sons begin to finish the circle he himself had once strove to keep incomplete. Hohenheim longed to warn Edward but lacked the strength since reaching out to Envy.

Above him and Envy, a new member of the audience entered and observed Fullmetal's obsession until the teen was done. Edward wiped the sweat from his brow as he examined his work, asking himself why he wasted his time this way. _He couldn't know the consequences..._

Hohenheim blacked out for a moment until a familiar glow roused him. Envy chuckled at the bewildered expression on Edward's face and the dazed alarm on Hohenheim's. Above them, the female Nazi looked delighted and it dawned on the homunculus and his brother that he'd had been played.

"Still just a puppet, aren't you Pipsqueak." Envy couldn't help saying. He heard Edward call him by name before the array drew his attention away and _The _Gate_ opened._

Armor fell to the floor in loud clanks and crash of metal on metal. Others in the complex heard the noise and gathered in the room equally confused as the one who caused the scene, one Fullmetal Alchemist Edward Elric_._

Hohenheim blacked out again and Envy tuned out the chaos below him. He ignored the solders griping at Ed and their exclamations of revulsion at the discovery of their dead armored friends. _Served them right for screwing around with The Gate, _Envy thought smugly.

He ignored the female Nazi's grand speech. Envy did however have a private laugh when, like he always did, Edward got his automail damaged in a slick move that Envy could once pull off and went diving into the mass of metal and death, dodging bullets for all he was worth.

Then somehow, the youngest brother of his was there and Edward and Alphonse had a moment of affection amongst a circle of stunned armed soldiers. Alphonse still inside a replica of their shared father's antique suit of armor ruined their cute reunion by commenting on Edward's height.

"What!" Edward screamed as he comically knocked his brother's head off, "You thought I'd still be a runt when I'm eighteen years old?!"

_Eighteen years old_, Envy shuddered as a cool electric wave went through him. _He's the same age as me when I..._

Just as the dragon was about to speak to his brothers, a rain of gunfire filled the room. Within moments of the noise dissipating, Edward and Alphonse were racing out of the room with a long wild yell. Hohenheim came to just as news reached them that Edward had successfully escaped. Envy spoke once the room emptied again.

"You missed the fun. Alphonse made an appearance." He chuckled, "He had Edward on his back and they ran out of the place like a bunch of crazies."

Hohenheim weakly chuckled and patted him somewhat affectionately. It occurred to Envy, all of a sudden that his father was trying to establish a relationship with him. Not just now, but also years before when his Master's plans had yet to reach the point of no return.

Envy recalled the first time he was with Dr Rue.

She expressed an obvious reluctance to be his shrink. Envy reasoned it was because he wasn't human, not because she knew his history. Since he knew Dr Rue took her vow of doctor-patient confidentiality seriously enough to be jailed over it, she was left alive.

It must have been then Hohenheim had asked Dr Rue to treat him, for the following week, her secretary called the Master's house. Luckily Envy was the one who picked up the phone; otherwise Dante would have murdered him over giving out her number. The call was short and to the point: Dr Rue changed her mind and told him call the office when he was in Central, she'd make room for him.

Envy recalled random notes inside his patient file. Things like: "_I expected him to be more...well not reserved but certainly not snarky" _and _"Man's going to laugh: __His__ two have been reading the same things in the lobby."_ made perfect sense now he grasped the knowledge his father had been keeping tabs on him.

More comments inside Envy's file came into focus. _"Chocolate parfait... I can already see the man's face... He still likes it. __Correction__: Envy adores chocolate parfait. He licked the bowl clean, in the process getting chocolate on his face, and spent the rest of the appointment trying to touch his tongue to his nose to get the chocolate off."_

"_Envy. The name fits too well. He reads alchemy books in the lobby but can't do any, which makes him envious of us humans who have the ability. He wants his father's attention and is envious of those who __do__ have it. He feels like he doesn't belong and envies those who have found a place. Envy. What a cruel name, I like the other one better."_

"Did...you _really_ talk to her... about me?" Envy asked aloud. When Hohenheim was silent, the creature waited with baited breath for the answer.

"Yes."

"What did you say?" the dragon asked in a tiny voice.

"That you were my son." Hohenheim replied. "A son I changed into a monster and then cruelly abandoned. She told me to go off and find you then bring you back with me."

"So... why didn't you?"

The alchemist patted the homunculi fondly, "I tried. I left Abbi's farm and started off to where I thought you'd be. But I got sidetracked."

"Trisha Elric." Envy said flat and his father nodded.

"She knew about you as well." His father revealed. "When the house was built, she insisted there be an extra room. In case, she always said, our prodigal son returned to us."

A guilty feeling slithered within the dragon sin. He always assumed Trisha Elric, the mother of his father's two youngest sons, never knew of the existence of Hohenheim's 'other family'. The Master told Envy his father kept them a secret from his 'perfect new family' in fear that they would taint his saintly image. But thinking back, Envy realized that Dr. Abigayle Rue had been hinting at this revelation.

"_Your name is In Vee?" he recalled her saying in their first meeting. Envy couldn't know then that the puzzled frown on the woman's face wasn't due to his little joke but actually due to her expecting him to use another more familiar name._

"_Yes," Envy told her with a gleeful smile. Dr Rue smothered a grin and took up a tablet and pen. She jotted something down and returned her attention to her new patient._

"_Your parents must have had a real sick sense of humor." She told him. Envy jerked in his seat across from her and the doctor jotted the reaction down in her notes._

"_Anything you wish to announce?" Dr Rue inquired. "Nothing about your mother or father? Possible loving step moms...?"_

"_**No.**__" Envy snapped. The doctor wrote down that reaction as well._

"Trisha asked about you after Alphonse was born." Hohenheim told his son, interrupting the other's reverie. "She wanted to know if we should tell the boys about you. About what I did, all the sins I committed."

The older man sighed, "I left before I could answer her. I didn't want to press upon them anymore grief. I wanted to leave them only with happy memories, not of a decaying monster."

"Maybe you still can." Envy replied. A small recollection bloomed into an idea, a hope for forgiveness for both their sins.

"Use me to open the Gate and send Ed home."

"I won't do it." Hohenheim argued and the homunculus growled.

"I'll bite you in half." He threatened and the former alchemist laughed at him.

"Then we have a deal."

Shock drained the anger from his body and Hohenheim continued.

"When Edward comes back, because you _know he will_, let me say goodbye and then we can both go. Together. All my blood combined with you should allow him to reach Alphonse."

"But..."

"I want it this way, son." He told Envy. "I have to atone for my sins."

"Deal."


	6. Be my Valentine

_Author's Note: I couldn't resist posting something Valentine related_

First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye fully expected to see a telltale envelop containing a valentine sitting on her desk. It was a running gag between herself and the Colonel for a good many years. So she wasn't surprised when she saw one on her desk.

She was surprised there were _two_.

The larger envelop had her first name scrawled in a familiar script on the front—one that Riza saw everyday on documents at work. Inside was an over flattering card that spoke of eternal devotion and love. Below the store bought words was a personal message just for her.

_If you weren't so devoted, you would have shot me long ago. _

"The only reason I haven't shot you, Colonel, is the paperwork it'd involve." Riza muttered tossing the valentine in the trash and sat down to open the smaller one on her desk. The envelop was a blank yellow, as if the sender had grabbed the first one they had on hand and then personally dropped it off at her desk. Then there was the card itself. Red paper artfully cut into the shape of her sidearm. Riza drew the card closer and could see embossing that further added detail to it. Handwritten inside were three simple words: _Be my Valentine. _She wondered who in the world could have done such a—_sweet_ thing.

* * *

"Wrath, I'm gonna kill you!" Envy screamed racing after the giggling homunculi child.

"With what?" Wrath taunted as the older homunculus gave chase. "The arrow Cupid shot in your—"

Envy tackled the boy to the ground and began pounding him two inches into the floor. In retaliation, Wrath used his alchemy to merge with the floor and return a few of the punches.

Off to the side, Gluttony sucked on his fingers watching the fight next to an amused Lust. Her coy smile deepened when Sloth came in, saw the fight and asked her what brought the fight on.

"Envy made valentine for a human woman and Wrath delivered it without dear Envy's permission." Lust replied. The stoic Sloth cracked a grin as bone snapped from a particularly hard blow. Neither one was very concerned seeing how the bone almost instantly mended. The screaming, however, was beginning to annoy Lust.

"Why he hasn't thought of getting his little valentine back, I have no idea." Lust commented to the other female. Envy halted his assault, his fist poised to rain another blow upon the sobbing child.

"Get it back before Hawkeye sees it?" he murmured seeing the merits of such an idea. He swung out of the hole that he created and darted off on his personal mission. _Operation: Save dignity_ was a go.

Sloth exchanged a look with Lust and Gluttony before she burst into a fit of giggles. Even Lust had a chuckle. _Envy has a crush on __**her**__?!_

* * *

Luck was not with him. By the time Envy had found a person whose form he could steal, covertly snuck inside and reached the First Lieutenant's desk, the personalized card wasn't there. He had hoped that Lieutenant Hawkeye had been so busy ensuring her procrastinating commanding officer dutifully did his paperwork that the card would go unnoticed. But even after rummaging through her desk, Envy couldn't find the card. He was ready to sneak out of the empty office when he felt a gun muzzle pressed to the back of his head. _Oh __**crap**__..._

"_What_ do you think you're doing?" Riza asked calmly. Envy slowly raised his hands, struggling to come up with a feasible lie. He wasn't about to tell her the truth.

"I- was picking up paperwork?" he finally said progressively turning around. "I tripped carrying a bunch of paperwork and accidently dumped it all."

"I saw you going through my desk." she snapped cocking her gun. "What are you _really_ doing?"

Envy sighed, _Oh well. Time to come clean. Getting shot isn't anywhere on my to-do list._"I was trying to get my valentine back." He confessed with a smirk. Envy noticed curiously Riza's hardened mask cracked briefly. "Someone stole the thing and left it here. I was hoping to get it back before you saw ever saw it."

Hawkeye lowered her gun by measures, never once removing her eyes from the perceived threat. She holstered her weapon and then reached into her pocket, pulling out the red slip of paper.

Envy took it from her when she held it out for him. He turned to leave when Riza's low voice stopped him. "Mind if I ask who it's for?"

"I would have thought it was obvious." He replied over his shoulder and then walked away. Envy switched back to his preferred form outside the base. It was moments later when he experienced a flash of pain and looked down to see a sizable hole in his chest that he discovered First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye had followed him.

_I'm going to have such an awful taste in my mouth when I wake_ was his final thoughts before falling on his face dead.

* * *

Envy fully expected to resurrect. It was something that had happened many times before and knew would happen many more since he consumed so many red stones throughout his existence. So it wasn't a surprise for him to wake up in strange place.

He was surprised to wake up in a strange bed carrying a familiar scent.

The black and white puppy sitting guard on the floor at the foot of the bed began barking. Moments later, Riza Hawkeye came in with her gun drawn and trained on Envy's head. "I thought there was something fishy about you, _homunculus_." She snapped. Envy ran his tongue around his mouth scowling at the sweetened coppery taste. "What were you doing at my desk?" the first lieutenant demanded.

"If you're going to drag me to your house to interrogate me, at least give me a glass of water."

"Homunculi don't need food or water."

Envy gave her his trademark offensively bright smile, "No, but it gets rid of the nasty taste in our mouths when we're shot dead."

"Black Hayate, if it moves." She told the dog pointing at Envy. "Attack."

Envy watched the dog turn extra inattentive as his master left to get a glass of water. He eyed the small canine who, just then, gave him a cute warning growl and couldn't refuse remarking. "You know I can easily snap the dog's neck if I wanted."

"Touch my dog and I'll put another bullet in you." She retorted walking back into the room with a glass of water in one hand, her gun aimed and primed in the other.

Envy took the glass from her and eagerly drank all the contents. About halfway guzzling the water, he had to pause to take a habitual breath and then went back to chugging the liquid. "Thank you." He said politely as he placed the glass down on the night stand to his right. "Now what was your question again?"

"What were you doing at my desk?"

"I was trying to get the valentine—" He was cut off by a bullet right between the eyes. Riza sighed as Envy fell forward and oozed blood on her bed. She reached over to take the glass back to the kitchen when the homunculi's hand shot out and firmly gripped her wrist.

"_That_ _**hurt**_," he growled as he took her gun away from her and tossed it at Black Hayate. The dog scampered off into the kitchen, "and now, not only do I have a nasty taste in my mouth, I got a headache." Envy snapped as the bullet in his skull eased out, landing with a dull plink on the bed.

"I can understand why you shot me before." He told her violently shaking Hawkeye's captured wrist. She shot out a fist with her free hand and without missing a beat, Envy caught her other wrist and jerked it next to the other.

"You weren't expecting a shape changing homunculi being your secret admirer." He said and cursed himself at his slip. _Operation: Save dignity_ was a failure. Dignity was taken out back and executed. By multiple firing squads. Twice for good measure.

"Secret admirer?" she replied blankly.

"Screw this, I'm leaving." Envy exclaimed releasing Hawkeye's wrists and leaping off the bed.

At the door, Riza's low voice stopped him again. "Why make a valentine for me?"

Envy sighed and didn't bother turning around. It was easier to spill his guts to her when he couldn't see her face. Besides, if she shot him again at least it wouldn't make a mess that couldn't be fixed by a bucket of bleach. Plus it'd make a peephole! "I made it because I didn't expect it ever reaching you." He confessed. "I made it because we have a lot in common. We're both marksmen. We both serve someone and would die for them."

"It's not much of a sacrifice for you." Riza commented and Envy smirked.

"No." he replied. "But I'm still willing to anyway."

Envy opened the door, fully intending on leaving this time but then Riza spoke again. "May I have my Valentine's Day card back?"

"You destroyed it when you first shot me." Envy heard Riza sigh and he finally left.

The following day, Valentine's Day, First Lieutenant Riza Hawkeye found a larger envelop sitting on her desk. Inside was bullet and another gun shaped valentine, this one more detailed that the last it read: _Cupid shoots humans with arrows; he shot me with a bullet. See? _She wondered how in the world a homunculus could come up with such a —_sweet_ thing.


	7. Room of Angels

He didn't find it until they were both gone. He wouldn't have ever imagined it existed. But as Alphonse stepped inside, time almost seemed to stand still.

Beside the murky window an ordinary bed sat, its wood frame scarred by white scratches. A post at the foot lacked an inch of reaching the dusty timber floor and needed the steel sewing bobbin sitting underneath. The jewel toned comforter lay smooth on the mattress with no more than three indigo throw pillows on top.

_His favorite color was blue_, Al thought as his eyes moved toward the shelves dominating the opposite wall. He scanned the titles, smiling faintly when he noticed they were all alchemy text similar to ones that once sat in their father's study.

_He was tidy and liked to read..._

Al turned and gazed at the large armoire by the door. The mahogany wood gleamed under layers of dust. The young man could tell before the owner left, it was well cared for. He gingerly opened the doors and came face to face with a reflection of himself.

Eyes that had seen much glanced at the bare wire hangers suspended from a bar. They quietly clanged together as Al swept them to one side to better see the faint image of letters.

I –W-A-S- H-E-R-E

He looked down and spied a small box hidden in a dark corner. Al drew it out into the light and peered inside.

_Toys?_

A well loved bear peered up at him next to a small wooden carriage with a missing wheel. Frowning, he carefully laid the contents in front of him.

Next to the highly adored bear and broken carriage sat a Jack-in-the-box with peeling red paint. When Al turned the crank at the side, a mournful tune played that seemed vaguely familiar to him. When the lid snapped open, a headless Jack sprang out.

_He didn't like how _Jack_ looked at him._

A deflated ball that tinkled dully sat next to a group of toy soldiers that were tied together. He drew one out from the bunch and noted it was painted in the very image of former Fuehrer King Bradley.

_He was artistic._

The revelation wasn't a very surprising one to Alphonse as he placed the toy solider back with the others. He recalled various instances where the owner of the room displayed his artistry. The way he moved, the way he fought, the way he dressed all revealed his creativity.

Alphonse's gaze moved away from the toy soldiers and onward to the next thing in line: a sketchbook. He picked up the plain booklet and flipped to the first page. A flower with delicate lavender blossoms stared up at him. He smiled running a finger across the page and, so exquisite was the detail, Alphonse was surprised it was rough and not petal soft

He flipped to another page and nearly dropped the book, his mouth dropping in surprise.

_It's Mom!_

She was the very image of all the sweet and dear memories Alphonse had of her. Her chestnut brown hair was pulled back and draped over one shoulder. Her eyes distantly gazed out from the page, a mix of hope and sadness perfectly captured on her beautiful face.

Al turned to another page and saw a sketch of him as an infant asleep in bed. Another page revealed his brother Edward and himselfsitting in their yard as children, their mother standing off to the side hanging laundry in her favorite lavender dress.

On the following page was the cold burnt out husk of his and Edward's home. Al could almost hear crackling from the blacken timbers as he gazed at the picture.

_He must have been curious about us to have watched us for that long._

Alphonse turned the page and was greeted with a detailed portrait of Ed. His hair was in a golden braid, so his brother knew this picture was done after Ed had gotten his automail. His once warm topaz eyes glared out from the page with startling intensity that came to those with a mission. In the corner, Al noticed writing.

_"I once spied a boy with hair of gold _

_Whose fiery eyes matched the fire inside._

_His life was hard with secrets untold_

_He marched on with his brother by his side._

_I once spied a man still much a boy_

_Whose journeys had him loved by all. —"_

The next line was erased and marked out with such vehemence, Alphonse couldn't read the stanza clearly. But the final line stood out clear as day, leaving the teen gaping in surprise.

_"This valiant and brave fool of metal"_

Al reexamined the portrait with new eyes. He saw the attention to each detail of Edward's face affectionately recreated. The fierceness of his expression, the haunted look to his eyes Ed always hid behind bravado.

Al flipped to the next page and found a picture of him when he was inside a suit of armor. Instead of using harsh lines of pencil and ink like the previous pictures, Al's was done completely in soft water colors. He was knelt in a field of pastel flowers, with a single bloom in his gauntleted hands. The sky was a blend of pinks and orange. Al was breathless with the gentle affection within the page.

_He actually _admired_ Edward and me._

The next few pages were black and white caricatures of people Al knew. One page had a small doodle of Roy Mustang proclaiming he was raising a mini-skirt army. Another was a gray cloud with a cigarette protruding chasing a group of female stick figures. In the corner of the same page was a book with glasses with the name Scheska underneath.

Alphonse even saw three caricatures of himself and Ed. One was a hastily drawn shrimp wearing Ed's jacket yelling at a random cat eating from a tuna can with Al's name. The other two caricatures were variations of the first.

_He always had a biting sense of humor._

Alphonse closed the sketchbook and began placing Envy's treasured objects gently back into the small box he found them in. The homunculi's hand painted toy soldiers. The headless Jack in the box that played Dante's song. The airless ball his Master and he played fetch with. The toy carriage and stuff bear from a childhood that was no truly his own.

Time resumed as he restored the box to its previous location, closed the armoire and left the room.

* * *

Reviews are very much appreciated..


	8. What If?

Edward and Alphonse Elric always knew their family was different.

In their tiny village, their father Hohenheim was the only one who owned more books than the local library. Before he left his wife and sons, Hohenheim was considered to be a well mannered gentleman... if rather absent minded. Now he wasn't thought about in very polite terms...mostly by Edward.

Their mother, Trisha, was the ideal stereotypical mom. She did laundry every Thursday, cleaned the house and baked the most delicious cookies and pies her boys had ever eaten. She was always kind but stern when she needed to be. It hit Edward and Alphonse pretty hard when Trisha died.

But the two brothers weren't alone....

"Hey Chibi, aren't you home from school early?" Edward heard as he walked into his house and slammed the door shut.

"Who are you calling so short—" the boy screamed.

Before Edward could really begin, the young man sitting on the floor snapping green beans cut off his rant by throwing a bean at Edward's head and began cackling at the outraged expression on his younger brother's face.

"Envy, you're such a creep!" Edward screamed throwing the vegetable at the older blond. In mid-giggle, curled around the large bowl of snapped green beans, Envy's hand shot up and snatched the projectile from the air.

"You're going to have to be much quicker than that if you ever want to get the drop on me." Envy replied uncurling himself off the floor.

Edward rolled his eyes as his brother dusted off his dark colored skort and tugged down his shirt so it no longer exposed his mid drift. Then Envy stretched his arms up above him, re-exposing his trim abs and snatched up the bowl from the floor.

"So Ed, you going to answer my question?" he asked as he deposited the beans on the dining room table with a smirk. "Aren't you home from school early?"

Before Edward could open his mouth to reply, the phone rang. Envy's amused filled eyes never left his brother's as he backed toward and sweetly answered the phone.

"Elric residence."

Edward saw the moment when his teacher informed Envy his younger brother had gotten into another fight. There was a glint of laughter in his eyes that wasn't there before. Edward then heard the eldest Elric brother promised to speak with him in a much put upon tone that was more suited to the situation, as this was the third time his brother got into a fight, before hanging up the phone.

"Chi~bi." Envy said in a sing song tone with a grin. "There is a young man who is missing a few teeth because of you."

"He asked for it!" Edward screamed channeling his outrage for being called short into his reply. "He spouting off crap about you and—"

"You got into a fight because some hick brat called me a gay cross dresser?" his brother asked flat. Envy ran a hand through his hair dislodging his ponytail, sending his hair cascading forward into his eyes.

"Ed, we've had this discussion before." He told his brother. "Don't start kicking people's teeth in because they're mouthy. Kick their teeth in if they hurt you or Al!"

"But—"

"Edward, I'm over four hundred years old and pretty much immortal. You think I haven't been called names before?" Envy replied with a wry grin. "I can fight my own battles."

"So why don't you do something?" Ed asked. "You can crush rocks with your bare hands, knock down six trees with just a kick—"

"And leap tall buildings in a single bound." His brother added with a grin. Edward smacked him on the shoulder and Envy playfully ruffled his hair.

"What I'm saying is you're so much stronger than everyone, so why don't you use it and kick some butt?" Ed asked and his brother gave him a sad smile.

"Because that would make me an abomination."

Edward was silent as Envy explained.

"I promised myself, a long time ago, to be the type of person that deserved the love everyone gave me. Dad, he could have easily abandoned me when he accidently created me. I wasn't much then, but he always was kind and when he left to go other places, he took me with him."

"Then centuries later, Dad could have simply not ever told Trisha about me but he did and Mom happily accepted me." Envy told Ed with a sincere smile. "She always treated me as if I were her real son even after you and Al were born. Then there's Pinako and Winry, they don't treat me differently even though they're sure to notice I haven't aged one bit in all the time they've known me."

"You'd feel like you betrayed everybody if you started kicking guys' butts who bad mouthed you." Edward said and Envy laughed as he disheveled his brother's hair again.

"You really are a genius." He told Ed then winked, "For a ten year old."

Edward slapped Envy's hand away from him, "So what's the punishment for fighting this time?"

A sinister smile crossed his brother's face and the younger man just knew he was in for it. Edward recalled his previous punishment was him and Al being shipped off to Dublith over the summer. Once there, both younger Elrics got '_acquainted_' with one Izumi Curtis. Since then, if either brother even _looked_ like he was considering bringing their mother back; Envy would muse aloud if the weather was nice at Izumi's shop.

"Go see if our neighborhood dairy farmer has some milk we can buy." Envy replied casually. Edward hid his cringe behind his brother's back as he danced off to give Ed some money.

"Then go to the market and get some veggies." Envy instructed as he came back and handed his brother the money. "Your choice on what kind to buy and when you get back, you're helping me harvest herbs."

"Aw man, not in the forest I hope!"

"Forest herbs, what a nice idea." Envy said sweetly. "I was going to use the ones we had growing outside the house but the ones in the forest are _so_ _much_ more savory."

As Edward left on his errands, he called his older brother something that would have gotten his mouth washed out if his mother were still alive. As it was Envy just laughed and waved.

Once the door was shut, Envy shifted to his preferred form. Warm golden eyes shifted to violet slits full of malice with the passing of a line of light. Where once there was silky blond locks, long green black spikes grew. A navy colored head band with a red triangular design sat at his forehead keeping the palm like hair out of his face. His clothes remained the same with the addition of matching wraps around his forearms, hands and feet.

Envy knew that a few teeth getting knocked loose wasn't going to stop the boy from tormenting his little brothers, in fact it made it worse. But a visit from Ed and Al's guardian monster would certainly make the bully think twice about hurting them.

_I promised Dad before he left that I would protect our family_, the homunculus thought. _Only for you and Al, Edward, I'll be an abomination._

He swiftly left the house unnoticed and unseen.


	9. Narcissus

_He had a dream that night. _

Envy sat in pure darkness with himself as the only light in the shadowed world around him. He dug his fingers into the ground beneath him, a spongy and humid texture similar to touching freshly sheared wool.

Beyond his light, Envy sensed someone watching him. They seemed to be content to silently study him. There were no harsh judgments in the scrutiny or really any intent except to observe. The homunculus found the sensation curious.

"Who are you?"

"I am me"

The voice was male, his low voice somehow familiar and yet unfamiliar to Envy's ears. He strained his eyes to see through the darkness and spy his watcher.

"Who is me?" Envy asked and hears him chuckle.

"Who you are is a question only you can answer, my friend."

"That's not what I asked" Envy replied with a scowl and the other person chuckled again.

"But didn't you just ask 'Who am I?'"

"I asked who _you_ are, not who _I_ am."

From the shadows, the homunculus saw a flash of gold and the faint shape of one no longer a child but not quite a man. An older teenager or a young adult male. He could tell the man in the dark was smiling. His tone once he responded was the perfect indication to his amused mood.

"Remember that game? You know the one. " He asked. "It always began with—"

"I have a theory." Envy murmured lost in thought. The other boy smiled and his shadow nodded.

"Yes, I have a theory. Do you want to hear it?"

Envy nodded wordlessly and so the other boy continued.

"Three things make up a human: the mind, the body and the soul. Now picture a coin in your head—"

"I don't see where you're going with this." Envy interrupted and the other person chuckled.

"Give me a moment and you'll see. Picturing a coin?"

"Yes, I'm picturing a coin." Envy muttered as he sat down on the floor and closed his eyes.

"A coin has two sides, heads and tails. The mind is the heads side of the coin and the soul is tails. The material of the coin is a human body. Because the mind and soul are two sides of the same coin, generally when a soul is affixed to an object, the mind of the owner remains with it."

"So what's this theory of yours that has to do with coins and what makes a human?" Envy asked.

"My theory is homunculi have the minds of the people they look like."

"_What_?!"

"The Gate deals in fairness. When an alchemist contacts it, it will give you what you ask for. But if you don't have enough to exchange for what you want or if you use the wrong type of request form—_that would be an array_— then it will get as close as it can."

"And take repayment out of the alchemist's hide."

"It is only fair." He told the homunculus with an empty gleeful grin the creature saw was much like his own.

"I believe the first thing The Gate does is retrieve the mind of the human the alchemist wants to bring back." He continues to tell. "Awareness is the first step towards life and that takes a bit of the materials there. So then The Gate realizes that there isn't enough here for the job. It makes the decision to go ahead and create a body with what it has left to house this awareness. A coin with only heads is still a coin no matter what; it's simply lacking the other half."

"You're wrong."

"Am I?" he asked Envy innocently. "You don't remember people from your past? You don't remember your name? You don't have memories of your human life?"

"No." Envy whispered and felt a gentle hand on his shoulder. The homunculi looked up into a familiar bemused face. Soft long golden hair and kind eyes of amber. He wore a form fitting sleeveless top coupled with a matching black skort.

"Then why are you talking to yourself?"


	10. The Absinthe letter

On Elysia Hughes's sweet sixteenth birthday a strange lady stopped by. Her eyes were hollow; her once coif locks of light brown curls hung loose around her world weary face. Her clothes, once a nice salmon colored business like suit, drooped off her body and faded with time.

The woman briefly spoke with Elysia's mother, her words seemingly polite before she passed Gracia Hughes a large envelope and left, wiping away tears. Her mother told her later, that the woman was the former Führer's widow and she simply stopped by to say hello. Elysia did not ask about the mysterious envelope or its equally mysterious contents.

_She didn't want her mother to have to lie anymore._

On the night of Elysia Hughes's sweet sixteenth birthday, long after her uncle Roy left along with various other close friends invited to the festivities, the birthday girl sought out the envelope. Elysia sensed what lay inside was a present that Mrs. Bradley kept for years, waiting for the right moment for her—_and her only_— to see.

And what moment was more special to a girl than the day where magical and delightful childhood finally ends and the age of adulthood begins?

Elysia found the envelope inside her mother's room, lying on the nightstand next to the bed. She gingerly drew the long slip of folded manila paper across the surface of the nightstand into her hands and quietly crept back into her room.

Walls lightly tinted pink were illuminated once Elysia closed her door. Shelves of knickknacks were placed along the walls. She sat down amongst her assortment of stuffed animals and opened the enigmatic gift.

"Dear sweet and pure Elysia,

In the month since your beloved father has been laid to rest, I have been left in charge of a cruel responsibility. I know I have no right in contacting you, even in this indirect way. We have never met or really ever _will_ meet but I wish to first confess to have committed a grave sin against you. I am the one who killed your father."

Elysia's expression clouded in anger. Clenching her teeth and edges of the letter in her hands, the young woman continued to read.

"A thousand Hail Mary's could never absolve me of my crime against you and your mother. I know the pain you felt when you lost your father. The emptiness inside your heart where he always stood. A feeling of guilt that perhaps if you had been a better child, more helpful, more perfect that somehow just maybe, he would still be with you."

Elysia's fury melted to shock. How could the monster who murdered her father understand—and even know _exactly_—what went through her mind growing up? Elysia continued to read hoping to unlock the mystery.

"But it isn't your fault, I freely accept the blame. I willing take your anger and will hold it close so your fury will cut and forever scar me."

_Why is it this person wants me to hate him_, Elysia asked herself. _Shouldn't they be asking for forgiveness? _

"My second confession is that I very much envy you." She read. "You have a loving mother and a father who was enraptured with everything about you. I wish my own mother was as sweet as your own. Someone who was strong enough to stand alone and never lost the kindness inside of her when misfortune struck. I wish my own father loved me even a little bit as much as yours loved you. Someone who never had a harsh word to say to his child and was so fascinated with every tiny thing they would never willingly leave them."

_I see now_, Elysia thought. _They understood because their father was gone too. But they were worse off because their mother wasn't strong enough to live without his father. She became cruel and would take her loss out on him. That's why he isn't asking for forgiveness. He's used to being the focus of someone's anger._

"Maes Hughes was a great man and a far greater father." Elysia read. "There has never been a man who loved his child more. It was a shield that protected him from power hungry military officials. Because of you and his adoration, everyone saw him as no threat to their own machinations until it was too late. A perfect plan for the perfect father."

"I had met your father many times, him never realizing the familiar face before him wasn't who he thought they were. Many times he randomly would shove your picture inches from my face, gushing over your latest life adventure. I admit to smiling politely and saying something suitable but I refuse to admit cooing over how cute you were. I recall his hand sliding toward a weapon one time when _someone_ else did."

Elysia burst into laughter. She had heard many stories similar to the one in the letter. Her big sister Winry told one about earlier about her father taking out his side arm just because her and a little boy were being friendlier than what he was comfortable with. The way Winry told it, her father was all set to take him out back but somehow he was talked out of it.

"My third confession is the honest truth." Elysia read. "I admired your father very much. When I was ordered to kill him, I tried to do it quietly and in a way where he wouldn't know what happened. Unfortunately I wasn't very observant to details and _he_ was, resulting in me using a distastefully nasty tactic on him just so I could do the job assigned to me. I want you to know he didn't suffer and died peacefully with dignity. And that his final thoughts were on returning home to you and your mother."

Tears pooled in her green eyes. Many things raced through her mind. The person who killed her father _liked_ him, _respected_ him enough to have his death be quick and painless. And her father's murderer felt some guilt. Then there were the words that she had heard many times but always felt were empty sentiments were confirmed from the one person who would have known. _Her father fully intended on coming home._

"I hope you don't find my letter offensive, dearest Elysia." She read. "I pray it reaches you safely and gives you some measure of peace that you did not have before. I would ask that you do not think too badly of me, but know that is too much to expect. Instead, let me ask that you not let anger and resentment color your life. Do not let my crime ruin whatever happiness you have. It is a mistake I made and desire you not to make yourself."

Tear drops strike the paper blurring the simple name at the bottom. But it will be a name Elysia Hughes will remember for the rest of her life.

_Envy_


	11. Happy Birthday

_"Father? Where do people go when they die?"_

_"Well, some say they return to where all life began, a gate, full of mysteries and answers untold."_

_"What does it look like?"_

The father chuckles at his son and playfully ruffles his blond hair, _"Its appearance is unique to each individual. One may say the gate is the jaws of a monster. To another person, the lips of an angel."_

_"But, there are others who say that when a person dies they go to a beautiful place where there are streets and mansions made of gold. There, the sky is like bright jewels and the air is sweetened with the scent of flowers. But they can go only if they're worthy."_

_"Am I worthy enough to go there?"_ the son asked his father.

_"Oh yes, my son."_ He replied. _"You are."_

Years later the father would recall the conversation as he watched his only child, his beloved son being lowered into the ground. Tears welled up in his eyes but refused to fall as dirt was piled over the simple grave.

"How prophetic you would ask me such a question." The father whispered. "Did you know at that young age you would never live to see adulthood?"

More tears threatened to fall but the tangled dam he built out of anger, resentment and sheer will held them at bay.

"Is the reason you asked was to know if the agony you felt would follow you beyond death?"

The minister began to say something to the gathered crowd. Words that were meant to bring the father and grieving mother peace only sounded empty to his ears. What loving and all powerful God would allow a young man, still just a boy, to die in such a horrific way? What God would rip a child from his parents' arms by painful bloody increments?

He demanded to know the answer to his questions on fate and death. He would have screamed in helpless fury but the grief mad grip on his arm held his voice hostage. She needed him to be the strong one now that their son was gone.

So he stood solemn and silent as the grave was filled.

He longed to turn back time and correct all the mistakes he made. Discipline his son better so that he would listen when his father told him not to do something...like playing around with his mother's mercury filled mirrors.

But mostly, he wanted his son back. He _needed_ his son back with a passion bordering on madness. Since his passing, fights occurring between the boy's parents occurred more and more often.

Resentment was building between them and the father was beginning to realize the woman who bore his beloved son had nothing in common with him. His quest for the Philosopher's Stone was merely for the sake of knowledge. Hers was for the power it would bring. He cared not for the finery and servants their skills procured while she lived for both. The sole reason they had stayed together for eighteen years, the father discovered, was their son.

The minister said more empty words and the father raised his eyes from the completed grave up to the sky. Dark gray clouds gripped the sky as Death's icy hold held sway over his child. The sun's warm light, like his bright shining son, was denied existence and left the world bleak and empty.

It was then the father made his decision. That moment as he left his son's dead remains behind with his lover painfully gripping his arm, he decided to undo the Fates' mistake. The father would re-thread his son's lifeline back into the tapestry of the gods.

_He would resurrect his son._

Though it was taboo he knew would do this. He would not be like Orpheus and allow doubt to creep into his mind. Laws had no meaning when one's entire world— _his son, his shining light _—was shattered.

The father _knew_ it was within his power. He had all the supplies he would need.

_35 liters of water_

_25 kilograms of carbon_

_4 liters of ammonia_

_1.5 kilograms of lime_

_800 grams of phosphorus_

_250 grams of salt_

_100 grams of saltpeter_

_80 grams of sulfur_

_7.5 grams of fluorine_

_5 grams of iron_

_3 grams of silicon and little bits of 15 other elements._

He could return the light to his shattered world. He could piece back the shards of his relationship with his lover. He could bring back his son! Everything would be restored. All would be right. Peaceful. _Normal_.

Inside his empty lavish home, the father raced down into his laboratory immediately. He ignored his lover's voice, her screams of indignity, her pleading. His mission firm in his mind, the father gathered all the ingredients for his son's revival and cast them into a cauldron of life.

The arrays were harder to produce. He carelessly flipped through ancient tomes and tossed them heartlessly behind him until the knowledge he sought was before him. With loving desperate strokes, the father sketched the arrays beneath the container and took a moment to rest.

His heartbreak would end finally. Death would no longer hold sway. His son was within his grasp. The father activated the array…

The Gate was truly a mysterious entity. With its ancient drawing and unsettling statuettes of angels grasping a child, the father felt awed. The single most powerful object in the world stood innocently before him. It breathed but sat dead in front of him…but not for long

When its doors opened and he was cruelly gripped by a thousand shadowy hands, the father felt fear. Those greedy hands were attached to grinning Machiavellian creatures that glutted themselves on the hopes of those foolish enough to wish for a miracle. They lusted for everything a person had to offer, something that they could never be. The children of the Gate envied the prideful father and they wanted him to taste their wrath.

The father was spat out of the Gate bloodied and missing portions of himself. His body was in such pain but it didn't matter! Inside the cauldron, he heard life. A gasping breath, the clunk of movement. His son!

He dragged his dying body toward the container, hope in his heart. He didn't need his Philosopher's Stone to perform this miracle. He was powerful enough to resurrect his beloved son with his own abilities. He crawled toward the sign of his power and managed to tip the heavy iron over.

Hope turned to horror.

His brain refused to allow him to see the full monstrosity his arrogance had created. Only portions were comprehended. An exposed chest cavity. Lidless sunken in eyes likened that to the thousands of plague victims the father once sacrificed. Black blood.

His body severely injured, abomination before him, the father's mind did the only thing it could do under the circumstances. It simply shut down.

He awoke days later in a clean bed and in a new healthy body. Gone was his blond hair, replaced by light brown. Gone were his self inflicted injuries but the scars of his failure remained.

He left days later with his half of the Philosopher's Stone. There was nothing left for him there in that home of meaningless opulence. His son was gone. Any affection he might have felt for his lover was gone.

The father couldn't even get the nerve to even destroy the monster he created in his desperation. It was all he had left of his beloved child, that hideously sinful thing. So he left it, shivering and alone in the basement.

_ "Father, will you always love me?"_

_ "Of course."_

_ "No matter what?"_

_ "No matter what, son." _


	12. A familiar face

This chapter contains a spoiler for "Full Metal Alchemist The Movie: Conqueror Of Shamballa". You don't want to know, don't read this chapter

* * *

He first sees him at the signing of his and his brother's latest novel: _The Fullmetal Alchemist and Ancient Central._ Alphonse just had gone to grab him a cup of coffee and some cinnamon rolls, when Edward looked up and saw him standing in line.

Same brackish hair, same cat like violet eyes, same sardonic smirk briefly flashing on his face as he waited. But there were differences that told Edward that the young fan seeking an autograph wasn't Envy.

His moss colored spikes was shorter and pulled back away from his face. A pair of sunglasses not unlike ones Greed sported was propped on top of his head. He wore a normal a t-shirt with a pair of dark fatigues and boots.

Then there was the fact the young man was bouncing on his feet, clutching a book with two pictures of Edward; one on the cover the very image of the sixteen year old State Alchemist, the other on the back a picture of the now forty year old fantasy author.

Ed shuddered, _I look like my father…_

"Brother?"

Edward jerked in his seat before taking the steaming hot cup of java from Alphonse's hands. He set the paper bag of rolls out of the way before he returned to signing autographs. Ten people away, the Envy look alike was happy.

"What were you looking at so intently?" Al asked him after awhile. Edward smiled faintly as he addressed the book laid before him to '_An alchemist's best friend_.'

"A familiar face." Edward chuckled and handed the book to his brother to sign. Alphonse gave him a puzzled look, deftly signed the book and handed it to the gushing owner.

Five people later, both Elric brothers came face to face with their long lost brother. _At least his look alike._

"Anything particular you'd like inside?" Edward politely asked the teen who had slid his sunglasses over his eyes during the wait.

This close, Edward noticed more differences. The young man was paler and slightly more slender. He had a pair of earring that looked like translucent feathers in his ears.

The teen smirked, "I'm not a pipsqueak."

Alphonse choked down a laugh and Edward twitched at the old insult. The older brother calmly opened the book and wrote '_I'm not a pipsqueak, you walking palm tree._' Ed then signed his name and gave the young man his book back with a smirk.

When the young fan read the inscription he busted up laughing, a laugh that was hauntingly familiar.

"You can put whatever you want inside." The Envy look alike said with a chuckle handing the book to Alphonse. The younger brother briefly thought for a moment and began drawing inside the cover. Edward knew it would take awhile so he began chatting with the boy.

"So who's your favorite character?"

"Envy."

Alphonse's head shot up with a startled expression that matched Edward's before looking down to finish his doodle.

"Oh? Any particular reason?" Edward asked calmly.

"The way you've described him." The teen pulled out from his back pocket and cracked open a worn copy of another Fullmetal Alchemist novel. Its ear marked pages chronicled Ed's adventures in Lab Five.

Envy's look alike flipped a few pages and then began reading.

"_A lean solider remained before him where once the general stood. A sardonic grin quirked his lips as he teased the alchemist in a playfully condescending tone. His outlandish attire notwithstanding, this creature was not all he appeared to be. Every corded muscle veiled an inhuman strength. His every word a deadly weapon._"

"Plus." The boy added, "He's got some killer moves. The way he always kicked Fullmetal's butt—"

"Yeah yeah." Ed said sourly. _I really don't need to be reminded_. Beside of him, Alphonse chuckled.

"But I think what really makes Envy my favorite is because you really gotta feel sorry for him. His dad ditched him and then ends up going off to start a new life with a new wife and sons. His mom treats him like one of her servants or a tool to serve her own needs."

Alphonse finished the drawing of the cat and passed the book back to its owner.

"But I think he's found some peace." the Envy look alike said as he left. He turned and winked at the brothers over his shoulder. "What angry son wouldn't after biting their father in half?"

Before the Elric brothers could jump to their feet, Envy vanished into the crowd.


	13. Trick or Treat

He actually felt sorry for the people at the door.

They opened the door expecting cute children dressed as little ghosts or wearing papier-mâché masks. Maybe there would have been an adorably sweet princess in the group gathered in front of them and instead they got …_well_…

"Trick or Treat!" Gluttony announced happily standing next to Wrath, him and Lust. Envy smothered a grin at the startled expression on the couple's faces.

He _really _felt sorry for the people at the door.

Gluttony was dressed as a jack-o'-lantern, his face painted the same shade of orange as the material that fit snugly around his rotund body. Lust had painted around his beady little eyes black squares and then created a cheery jack-o-lantern like grin around his mouth.

Wrath had opted for something traditional. Something that all of the other kids were certain to be dressed as. And surprisingly they actually did encounter a few children dressed in the rags of a clichéd serial killer, their hair just as wild as the small sin's. But Envy doubted the knives the kids sported were real or had actual blood on the blade.

Lust didn't bother with a costume seeing how she was supposed to be the adult of the group. The only addition she had to her normal low cut dress and knee high boots was her favorite coat. Though with the way the ladies were on usual display surrounded by puffs of fuzz lining her duster, Lust could have been mistook for dressing up.

For his own costume, Envy took great pains to be even more outrageous than he normally was. He took off his head band and pulled his brackish hair up into pigtails to keep it out of his face. The skin tight mid drift top he usually wore was replaced with a black shirt with black and white striped sleeves. His skort was substituted by a black mini skirt that flared to reveal panels of white. His arm bands and wraps around his feet were swapped for black and white knee striped high socks and black tennis shoes. To finish the look, he lined his lips with dark lipstick and surrounded his eyes with a smoky eye shadow.

When he walked out in costume Lust, Sloth, Wrath, even Pride himself and their Master erupted into uncontrolled laughter at Envy the cheerleader. The Master was in such a good mood afterwards, she transmuted a set of pom poms for her cross dressing child.

"Are you going to give us candy or not?" Envy inquired with a cheery smile. "Because I know this really neat trick..."

He said the last part in his actual voice and he supposed he sounded scary enough because the four Sins had the entire bowl of candy shoved at them. The couple slammed the door behind their frantic retreat and threw every lock they had on the door.

"Can I eat them?" Gluttony asked as Lust divided and deposited equal amounts of candy from the bowl into their bags.

"No Gluttony." Lust replied patiently as the couple turned out their porch light.

"But you promised I could eat them."

"She said you could eat the next person who didn't give us candy." Wrath told him.

"But I'm hungry!" the Great Pumpkin whined pathetically as they walked toward the sidewalk.

"Here, have a Snickers." Envy flicked a candy bar from his bag at the creature's head. Gluttony ate it in one gulp midair.

"So what are we doing next?" Lust inquired. "We've gone to every house on this block, shall we move onto another? Or are we going to go to a haunted house?"

"I say let's crash a party." Envy exclaimed raising up a pom pom.

"I want more candy." Wrath said pouting.

"I'm _hungry_!" Gluttony whined as Envy rolled his eyes.

"Alright, five more houses and then a party." Lust responded. She looked between her fellow homunculi. "Agreed?"

"Six houses."

"No, Wrath!"

"Wrath, Envy." Lust said calmly interjecting before the two sins could get into a fight right on the street. "We can go to six houses, but the last house will be one with a party."

A devious and sinister grin spread across the eldest homunculi's face. Children on the other side of the road fled. Somewhere an entire circus of clowns died.

"I got the perfect place." Envy declared.

* * *

"Trick or treat!" the three deadly sins exclaimed holding out their bags.

Music and the sound of laughter floated out toward the white picket fence surrounding the final house of the night. Beneath the feet of the four homunculi, lights from within illuminated happy little pumpkins drawn by a little girl's hand.

Gracia Hughes blinked at all three of them. Gluttony was too large for the costume to be anything but homemade and he would have looked strange if he were to dressed up as something else. A pumpkin, she felt, was an inventive choice for the obese man. She didn't like, however, the way he seemed to be looking at her.

Mrs. Hughes didn't understand why any child wished to dress up as a psychotic murderer. She remembered vague reports of the murderous Slicer Brothers and the strange case of Barry the Chopper. Her husband worked long hours on the later for the sake of his beloved wife and country. There were many nights when Maes would wake screaming but all of that stopped when the case was resolved. Many people rested easier since that day. So why was Wrath the tenth childish killer to come to her door?

She at first thought the cheerleader costume the young '_lady'_ wore looked very cute. It wasn't until 'she' pushed a bag in front of her and repeated the timeless phrase "trick or treat" that it wasn't a girl standing in front of her…but a _very good _cross-dresser.

"Nice costume, isn't it?" Lust purred a hint of laughter in her voice at Gracia's obvious gawking of Envy. "A mutual acquaintance thought it was as well."

Gracia blinked and turned to ask the stunning woman behind the trio of terror who she meant when the Great Pumpkin spoke up.

"No candy?"

"Oh! I'm sorry." their hostess exclaimed and Envy chuckled.

"It's okay," he smiled brightly and gently pushed past her. "We're here for the party."

Gluttony pouted as he followed Envy inside carefully avoiding knocking Gracia down and was trailed by Wrath and finally Lust.

"I'll make sure they behave." she told the woman as she shut the door. "The Führer would insist."

Everyone had arrived for Gracia's party. Every year friends and family of the Hughes's would gather for Halloween and have fun. Fun included bringing a few pieces of candy for Elysia who was dressed up a fairy princess, the green in her sparkly dress closely matching her eyes. Fun also was dressing up in costumes.

Jean Havoc was supposed to be Casanova but looked more like a flamenco dancer with the way he kept placing a red rose in his mouth and offering it to women. Heymans Breda, who was dressed up as Alex Armstrong, was entertaining a crowd with his impersonation. Vato Falman's costume was Sherlock Holmes while his friend Kain Fuery was Watson. Alex Armstrong used to be wearing a pirate costume but upon hearing _someone _imitating him, whipped off his shirt, eye patch and captain's hat in one fell swoop and was now walking around topless.

Now Roy Mustang was above such things. He was a mature male specimen who was comfortable in any situation and could draw a crowd, mostly women, to himself without the aid of frivolous outfits of a false nature.

This wasn't one of those times.

Surrounded by two nameless women, Maria Ross, and Riza Hawkeye, all whom wore belly dancer costumes, sat the great sultan himself: Roy Mustang. Gracia had no idea whether all the gold around his neck and fingers were real but the blue jewel in his turban was too big to be anything but fake.

But Lust did not chuckle at the colonel's highly egotistical use of two subordinates. Nothing about him made Wrath snicker. Roy's outrageous costume wasn't what got Envy nearly rolling on the floor laughing.

It was one Edward Elric, the Fullmetal Alchemist dressed up as…_Envy_.

Complete with palm like fronds of hair and borderline trannie skort, Edward had ingeniously recreated Envy's look. Even minor details did not escape the alchemist. The design on his headband. The strands of hair that tended to stray into his face. The correct length of his shirt and skort. Ed even had the ouroboros tattoo on his thigh, something which Envy couldn't decide whether to be impressed or scared. _What was Ed doing looking down there?_

"Hey I'm going to go mingle." Envy told Lust jerking his head toward Edward. Lust chuckled and watched as the homunculi sauntered over to their enemy.

"If you tell me your brother is dressed up like Gluttony I'm going to laugh my head off." Envy murmured in Ed's ear. In shock, the alchemist spun around then jerked back in surprise.

"What the heck are you…?" Ed sputtered a small tint of pink appearing on his cheeks.

Envy waved his pom poms at the alchemist, "I'm a cheerleader, go Team Homunculus!"

"What are you doing here!"

"Laughing at you right now." he replied with a grin. "You know you don't have the body to really pull off being me."

The pink on Ed's cheeks turned dark as he exclaimed, "I'm not trying to be you!"

The homunculi quirked an eyebrow and smirked, "Really. Outfit's the same, hair _not so _the same but good enough. You even have one o'these."

Envy slipped up one side of his skirt, baring his ouroboros tattoo and a good enough portion of leg to give everyone a show. Edward, face red as a strawberry, quickly snatched Envy's wrist and skirt, jerking it down to a decent level.

"Aw, did I embarrass you?" he cooed then leaned inches from Edward's face, "Or did you enjoy?"

Sudden anger lit the Fullmetal Alchemist's eyes then with an angry shove and a glower, Ed turned storming away. Envy grabbed his arm to stop him.

"What!" Edward growled and the homunculi smirked.

"Halloween is all about tricks and treats." he replied. "I had my treat getting you red as a beet, now it's time for a trick. Wanna join in?"

Ed was suddenly on guard and casually as he could manage asked, "And what do you have in mind?"

Envy motioned with his head toward the large punch bowl sitting on a table off to the side. "A trick involving plying alcohol on unsuspecting military officers."

A devious grin spread across the alchemist's face, "Y'don't say."

Already visions of sugar plum fairies danced in his head with a drunken Mustang , Havoc and sadly enough, Major Armstrong himself in a tutu.

"All you have to do is head to the shop two blocks over and buy some vodka. It's simple." Envy told Edward placing a conspiratorial around his shoulders.

"And if I get accused of spiking the punch? I'm sure the guy selling me the stuff will remember a cross dressing ficus."

"You won't" Envy said ignoring the teen's jab with a grin matching Edward's own. Two blocks away a hospital of infants began to cry. "If the clerk is questioned by anyone, Lust and Gluttony tagging along with you will make it point to me."

"And they'll go with it?" Ed was beginning to get excited about the possibility of seeing Mustang look like an idiot. Envy began to lead his enemy toward where he spotted Wrath and Elysia comparing their loot and candy with one another. Lust sat on Gluttony's shoulder nearby.

"Pretty sure." he replied.

"Hey Trannie." Wrath greeted then addressed Elysia. "I'll trade you two Butterfingers for your kazoo."

"Don't hate me 'cause I'm beautiful." Envy responded.

"Oh yeah," Edward couldn't help saying. "You're so pretty and witty and— "

"Finish that thought and you can forget about any help tricking Mustang!" Envy snapped and Lust chuckled.

"So to what do we owe the honor of a visit from the Fullmetal Abomination?" ?" Lust asked merging both Ed's and Envy's nicknames together with a little amused smile. Wrath and Elysia wandered off for some privacy during their transactions.

"Ed needs to complete his Envy costume by having you and the pumpkin man go with him to buy some vodka." Envy told her. "He doesn't want to get caught pranking his commanding officers."

"Gluttony, shall we help the Fullmetal Abomination?" Lust chuckled huskily. Gluttony smiled and twenty circuses found themselves short of clowns.

"Hehe, trick or treat!"

The sexy sin rose to her feet and slinked toward the door. Gluttony happily followed Lust and Ed trailed after them both.

"Go Team!" Envy exclaimed with a happy smile shaking his pom poms after them. _Now where did I put it…_

An hour later, as he lay in Hawkeye's lap, Sheik Roy Mustang moaned on about happier days while Riza nodded as she smoothed his hair back. Gracia in between giggling was pointing at Maria Ross and the two other women who were attempting to belly dance.

Now not only was Armstrong topless but so was Breda and both were belting out duets before a passed out Falman and Fuery who were cuddled up to one another. Denny Brosh arrived shortly after the punch was spiked dressed as a dog and now literally was sniffing after Ross.

Safe and sound in a corner, Edward and Envy cackled at the drunken adults while Lust and Gluttony oversaw Elysia and Wrath's business dealings.

"Al would have loved this." Edward exclaimed as Elysia traded a yoyo for ten pieces of taffy. "Well at first he'd be mad and horrified but after awhile he'd love it."

"Where is Al? I'm surprised he's not here with you." Envy asked as Ross tripped over her 'dog' and scolded him most fiercely.

"He's back home with my automail mechanic." Ed replied as Brosh began rolling around the floor. "There's a festival there that they couldn't miss."

"Careful Edward." Envy said as Wrath gave Elysia a spider ring for two jawbreakers. "You'll end up losing your girlfriend to your much taller brother."

"_Who are you calling_— !" Edward screamed before a swift fist to the face silenced and knocked him unconscious. Elysia and Wrath glanced up from their deal at the same moment Lust looked over at Edward's slumped body.

"I've _always _wanted to do that." Envy announced with a gleefully smile. Elysia and Wrath went back to trading as Lust merely smiled.

* * *

"Lieutenants Ross and Havoc called in sick." Hawkeye announced the next morning. Unlike Mustang who was slumped at his desk groaning about his hang over, the lieutenant went on with her work diligently.

The first case of the day was discovering the identity of the person who spiked the punch. Mustang had personal investment in this case due much to the horrible hangover and had personally interviewed everyone who was there.

Fuery was eliminated due to the fact that he had to be taken to the hospital after being unable to keep water or crackers down. When interviewed it was discovered he only had one cup of spiked drink. Falman was also eliminated after he revealed waking up at Fuery's place…in Fuery's bed. It was him who took the poor man to the hospital.

Brosh was still wearing his dog costume when he blearily answered the door. One eye was so bloodshot, he almost appeared alien. The other was black and swollen shut. Mustang determined he seemed to be hiding something and after much pressure Brosh revealed a vague memory of feeling Maria Ross up, thus the reason behind the black eye he sported.

Breda wasn't found at his place but was instead discovered at the Armstrong estate. A small clue was revealed while Roy interviewed Armstrong. The muscle man recalled someone with green hair hanging around the punch bowl around the time it was spiked.

The colonel then moved onto Havoc who was found to have company and after the woman left, Roy asked about the green haired person. Mustang learned that there was only two people who matched the description: a unknown female dressed as a cheerleader and Edward, who jokingly dressed up as one of the homunculi he fought with.

Mustang then remembered there was a store that sold liquor a few blocks from Gracia's and went to interview the clerk.

"Yeah I saw'em." the older man told him. "Short, dressed like a girl but it was a guy."

Mustang began to see red. _How __**dare **__Edward pull a prank like that! _Sure it was amusing to wake up surrounded by women, one being Riza Hawkeye. However Roy woke up on Gracia's living room floor to little Elysia asking her mother what one of the women was doing to Uncle Roy's pants.

Mustang later found drool stains don't come out of silk.

"And _dang _was that woman with him _hot_." the clerk said drawing the colonel out of his murderous thoughts. "Smokin' hot. I wish I was that fat guy she was petting. But eh, poor thing was dumb as a brick, kept saying trick or treat and laughed real creepy like."

Mustang took the information he gathered to Edward, who was staying at a hotel not far away. At his room, the colonel picked up a large envelop addressed to his subordinate before knocking. Edward answered almost immediately.

"Wild party last night eh?" Ed inquired rubbing his slightly swollen jaw. "So what brings you?"

"Found out who spiked the punch and with what."

"R-really."

"Looks like the real Envy crashed Gracia's party and pulled one heck of a prank on all of us." Mustang told him. "He went to a liquor store, snuck into the party and then poured some vodka in the punch. After that who knows what happened. What do you remember?"

"Armstrong and Breda serenading Fuery." Ed replied and Roy laughed tossing the teen his mail.

"I'm just glad nobody took pictures." Mustang said as he left. "Can you imagine the ammo those picture could give a person?"

As Roy shut the door, Ed swore and wished he had thought of taking pictures. He looked down at the envelop the colonel tossed him, not recognizing the handwriting addressed to him. With a frown he dumped the contents on his bed.

A picture of Roy jauntily lounging in Hawkeye's arms while Ross danced in the background greeted him. Ed's eyes lit up with glee as he spotted another picture, this time of Fuery and Falman asleep in one another arms.

He shifted through pictures after picture of last night's events. Armstrong singing with Breda. Hawkeye belly dancing while Gracia pointed and laughed. Jean kissing a random woman. Falman and Fuery toasting one another.

And then there were pictures of the main jokers themselves. There was a shot of Elysia and Wrath trading for candy and toys. Lust dancing with Brosh. Envy waving a pom pom as he sat on Armstrong's shoulder while the man sang. And then a shot of Edward laying unconscious on Gluttony's stomach.

Along with the pictures, Edward found a small envelop with the words "trick or treat" jauntily written on the front and opened it with a smile.

"_Thought after punching you to cut short your rant, you'd enjoy evidence of our little trick and treat. Had fun, we should do it again next year. Signed Envy."_

"_P.S. Tell Gracia Wrath has her daughter's fairy wings so that next year he can be a fairy princess too."_


	14. T'was the night

**T'was the night before Christmas and all through the lair…**

Envy swore if he was served one more matzo ball he was going to shove it where Rudolph's nose didn't shine.

**Enemies had gathered but joy was in the air.**

"Nice Santa hat."

"Bite me, Elric."

**The snacks were laid out on the table with care…**

"Hey! It was a compliment!"

"Al, go away before I kick your shiny metal-"

**While Gluttony sat in a corner under Lust's watchful glare.**

"Alright I'll leave!" Alphonse said quietly but exclaimed louder. "Y'big Grinch!"

Envy rolled his eyes as the suit of armor vanished in the crowd. He sighed and scanned the throng of people who had been invited to the little holiday party the Master surprised everyone with.

**Wrath was nestled all snug in his bed…**

Everyone they knew had been sent dainty little invites the Master herself created by hand. By the time she had the menu planned out two days later, thanks to some strange miracle, nearly each person RSVP'ed back.

**Bound and gagged thanks to his hothead**

It was bad enough people like Mustang and Havoc, both taking turns parking themselves under the mistletoe, were there. But Armstrong was over with the Curtis couple comparing the size of their stockings!

**Sloth in some elfish wear and Pride in a suit.**

And the _costumes_! The Master made them all wear _costumes_. The only exception, Pride since being the Führer required he be dignified and Wrath who ripped his outfit into tiny shreds then set them on fire.

**Envy in a hat that he wished to execute.**

Oh how the homunculi wanted to do the same. The only thing going for him was there was only one Elric at the party. Edward had a tiny growth spurt but it was enough for him to require visiting his automail mechanic over the holidays.

**When all of a sudden there came a loud tap**

Envy looked over at the door where there seemed to be a bit of a scene. Someone had knocked on the door, and like a good hostess, The Master went to answer it.

**To the door the Master went in her green wrap.**

Others from the party flocked toward the door obviously curious as to who the late comer was. Even Alphonse went to see, deftly avoiding bruising anyone with his unyielding metallic body.

**She opened the door, gusts of snow came inside**

The party seemed to cease at the arrival of the mysterious guest that the Master was animatedly speaking with. Thanks to the utter size of their lair and the acoustics of the ballroom, all Envy really could hear was whispers from the other guests.

**Then two stepped forward to celebrate this yuletide.**

At first he couldn't tell who had arrived, mostly due to Alphonse following alongside of the newcomer. His sheer bulk hide even the Master from sight, who chatted gleefully. Not that it was hard, the Master's current body was petite as they came without being considered dwarfish.

**The lamp on the table by the new fallen snow**

"I can't believe you made it!" The Master's voice rang out.

"I can't believe I got talked into coming." an all too familiar voice replied.

"_Oh no_…" Envy muttered recognizing the identity of the newly arrived guest.

**Gave luster of mid-day to objects of woe.**

Edward Elric had made it back from Resembool in time to see his greatest enemies play hostess or dress like Christmas-y morons. Upon spotting Gluttony in a Santa costume sans a beard, he burst into uncontrollable laughter.

**And what to Envy's wondering eyes should appear?**

Alphonse turned to see what got his brother so worked up and Envy spied the final surprise guest to arrive at the party. The blood drained from Envy's face and his jaw dropped in shock.

**Why Edward Elric and his father so dear!**

Envy was cold, so very cold. What was _he _doing here? Ed and Al's father, _his _father, Hohenheim Elric had appeared before them all like some freakish Christmas spirit.

**She rushed them inside with a smile and a wink**

The Master of the homunculi was enjoying this! Her former lover had heard about her little holiday gathering for everyone and decided to tag along. To her it didn't matter that two centuries had passed or he obviously didn't love her the way she loved him. For now she'd be a good hostess, but maybe later she could discuss a private interlude between them.

**Vanishing into the crowd before an eye could blink.**

"Hey, glad you could make it. I see you know our hostess."

"Thank you. Yes, her and I go way back." Hohenheim replied politely.

**More rapid than eagles Envy's heart did inflame,**

There was more friendly chats like the one before. Even a few between Edward and Hohenheim despite the fact the son wanted his father's head on a platter. It was _Christmas_! You don't do such things on _the most wonderful time of year_. But it didn't matter to Envy.

**He thought "I'll murder my father then my brother I'll maim."**

"Nice hat." Ed snickered appearing at his side.

"Bite me, Elric." Envy snapped. He really was tempted to maim the alchemist more so than he already was.

"Where's your holiday spirit?"

"I don't know _Ed_, where's your right arm?"

Edward left calling the homunculus something that might have gotten his mouth washed out had his father heard him. Then again, Envy reasoned, he somewhat fell under the definition.

**Envy would wait patiently, he could wait all day**

He stayed on the couch watching his father mingle trailed by his youngest son. Alphonse introduced his teacher and her husband to Hohenheim and then got involved with the stocking discussion. When a bookish looking girl passed him a cup of spiked egg nog before dashing away giggling, Envy figured being stuck in a stupid holiday hat surrounded by people he knew wasn't such a bad way to spend his holiday.

**For his father to notice him and wander his way.**

Especially if they were drunk. He couldn't wait until Mustang got hammered. Rumor was he was hilarious when he got drunk. Of course his right hand man, Hawkeye was an intriguing prospect. Envy wondered if she'd be a mean drunk. He could already picture the woman pulling her sidearm and spraying the room with bullets. It'd make _his _day.

**As dry leaves that before the wild hurricane fly,**

Then at least he wouldn't keep getting comments about his hat. He picked that one out himself! It was a sight better than the pointy green little elf hat with its gaudy bells and red glitter. He took a swig of egg nog, savoring the burn of the rum on his tongue.

**So did the father see his son and gave a smile so wry.**

Envy noticed his father spotted him sitting on the couch. He rolled his eyes and smirked, waving the white puff at the end of his hat at him. Hohenheim chuckled and then turned his attention back to the conversation about which was better: figgy pudding or sugar plums.

"**He's dressed kinda gay, but really cute.**

If anyone really knew Hohenheim, they would have been able to detect the moment he stopped really paying attention to the talk around him. They would have noticed most of his mind was on the antisocial older teen with long dark hair and wearing a goofy Santa hat.

**No one'll say so in fear of a lawsuit."**

Hohenheim thought his eldest son looked cute dressed up the way he was. Glancing around the room he could pick out most of the other homunculi by the costumes their Master forced onto them. The voluminous young woman dressed as a sexy Mrs. Claus was guarding the food from a fat Santa without a beard. He spotted the very image of his wife dressed as a elf, something he'd be sure to discuss with his younger sons after the festivities.

**To Envy's side Hohenheim went**

The first moment he could, the famed alchemist excused himself and made his way toward the son he cruelly abandoned. He'd waited for this moment since the instant he learned of Dante's party. Hohenheim knew she'd order the homunculi to be on their best behavior… _or else_. So this party was the perfect opportunity he had waited centuries for. On the train ride over, he confessed everything to Edward, who was reasonably shocked and had expressed himself quite explosively. Afterwards they agreed to Edward being the one to break the news to his brother while Hohenheim spoke to Envy.

**And sat beside him with a sigh of content.**

"Nice hat." Hohenheim said pleasantly as Ed pulled Alphonse aside.

"Bite me, Elric." Envy growled and his father laughed.

"It's really a nice hat. Your mother pick it out?"

"Unless you want to be _beaten _within an _inch of your life_," the homunculi snarled. "I'd _advise _you to _get up _and _chat _with _someone _else."

Hohenheim sighed and scratched the back of his neck, "I came to see you."

"You _actually _expect me to believe that?"

"I had hoped." his father said with another resigned sigh. "Maybe some Christmas miracle would occur and you, I, Edward and Alphonse could spend the holidays together as a family."

"They don't even know who I am" Envy exclaimed right before from the entryway there came a loud scream.

"He's _what_?"

"Al, keep it down!" Ed exclaimed.

The party was quiet but there came no other interruptions from the Elric family, so the guests resumed chatting and helped themselves to the egg nog. All of a sudden, Envy laughed.

"I can't believe you told him." he said shaking his head incredulously.

"Edward's old enough to know and understand… if that nice elf in the corner is any indication."

"How'd you do it? No wait I can guess." he replied with a snicker. "Hey Ed, Merry Christmas you have a nonhuman half brother… _and it's Envy_."

"Not quite." Hohenheim responded with a smile. "I simply informed him he had a brother and when he wouldn't stop screaming long enough for me to explain why he wasn't told before, I let your name slip."

"He shut up didn't he."

"Not really." his father remarked with a shrug. "It just gave him a reason to punch me."

"You decked our Dad?" Alphonse's voice rang out again. "_Brother_!"

"He deserved it!" Ed argued.

"You really did deserve it." Envy told Hohenheim. He turned toward him and held up four fingers inches from the man's face. "_Four hundred years_, no cards, no notes, not even a how y'doing."

The homunculi began to unload centuries of emotional baggage he kept bottled up inside of his lithe frame.

"You give me life, _cuse _me out, abandon me without a care then come back later for some nookie with the Master and you don't even bother to say hi."

"I didn't realize you knew I ran into your mother."

"She advertised!" Envy shouted drawing attention to himself. "You know how _weird _it is to know your _mother _is getting some and talking to _you _about it? Trust me: _it's pretty freakin' weird_."

Hohenheim laughed, "I just bet."

"And then come to find out, you made yourself another little family with, not one son, but two! Two happy healthy sons with the absolute perfect wife! She cooks, cleans, makes _freakin' _cookies."

"I miss Trisha's cooking."

"Well _too bad_, she's dead!"

Envy's shouting was beginning to visibly disturb the party. Dante made a motion to Envy to behave but he ignored her in favor of continuing his rant.

"You think just because I'm not human I don't have feelings?" he screamed. His father looked around the room bemused, noting everyone was beginning to stare before turning his attention back to his fuming son.

"We're not empty little dolls you can cast aside, _Father_."

Hohenheim nodded.

"And we're certainly not a toy you can come back later to play with when you _feel _like it!" Envy shouted as his brothers came in to see what all the shouting was about.

Dante glanced around the lair, her the gears in her mind moving. She refused to have her quaint and pleasing holiday gathering be ruined by the homunculus of her highly impulsive son. She found salvation at the snack table. Ever the graceful woman, Dante sauntered over, snatching a tray of sugar cookies as she turned and floated over to the couch.

"Would you like a cookie?" she said demurely cutting off Envy's latest rant. Her son growled as his father smiled at her and seemingly ignoring Envy completely, took a sugary reindeer from the top.

"Thank you." Hohenheim told her and she floated off to offer the tray's contents to the rest of her guests.

"What the he-" Envy got out before quicker than he could react, his father jammed the cookie in his mouth.

In the entry way, the Elric brothers choked back a few things themselves, namely laughter at their brother's expense. Hohenheim smiled sweetly as Envy attempted to choke the cookie down.

"I admit I made a mistake." he told him as the crowd turned their attention from them and back to where Dante felt it belonged.

"It was a huge mistake, one I'm trying to settle right now if you'd let me."

"Wh' foud I?" Envy demanded. His father patted him on the head with a fatherly smile.

"Don't talk with your mouth full."

Envy flipped him the bird and his father laughed.

"Your mother mentioned how much of a smart aleck you were." Hohenheim told Envy as he finally managed to swallow the cookie.

"Don't think that's the word she used." his son remarked with a smirk.

"It wasn't."

Envy snorted and sipped his egg nog. It was then that his father pulled a small package from his coat pocket and held it out to him. The homunculi looked at package with its cork screw red and green bow and candy cane wrapping paper and then took a nip from his glass.

"Mine?"

"Of course." his father replied. Envy looked down at the present, then at Hohenheim and back at the contents of his cup.

"You don't want to see what is inside?"

"I'm waiting for you to take it back."

Hohenheim set the present down on Envy's leg and rose to his feet.

"The only reason I _ever _spent time with Dante was because of you." Hohenheim sighed. "I was too shamed by my actions to meet you face to face but I never forgot about you. Every time her and I met, I would ask about you."

"But she wouldn't tell me anything unless she received something in return." he revealed to his son.

"So what happened? You haven't seen her in two hundred years."

"She reneged on the bargain." Hohenheim gave Envy a smirk eerily similar to the homunculi's. "No news, _no nookie_."

Hohenheim began to walk away, melting into the crowd but before he could fully vanish Envy called out to him.

"Father…" His father turned back to him and smiled.

"There's this nice café in West City, makes the best chocolate parfaits in Amestris. You ought to go to it some time."

**After their talk, the party was grand**

Envy returned his father's grin, "Sounds like fun."

Thirty minutes later, nearly everyone in the lair was drunk or watching over those who partook of one too many holiday spirits. Sig Curtis and Alex Armstrong began arm wrestling one another and an inebriated Izumi Curtis later exclaimed she'd take on the winner. Edward was passed out on the floor with a blanket draped over him next to his brother. Greed had arrived fashionably late with his chimeras and all of them were playing poker with Alphonse.

Envy learned the name of the bookish girl was Sheska and she was a much more entertaining person than a drunk Mustang. He learned that both of them had a love for books and made arrangements to get together some time after the New Year. To ensure Miss Sheska would remember their "date", Envy gave her his hat with a reminder and his phone number inside.

**Soon everyone left to enter dreamland.**

All too soon, the party ended and everyone began staggering toward the door. Sloth and Pride led members of the military single file to the elevator then toward their homes or dorm room. Lust called cabs for civilians while Dante made arrangements for Greed and his group to sleep over. Envy was left in charge of driving his new friend and family home.

"You lost your hat." Al said as Envy carried Sheska to the car.

"It looks better on her."

"But it looked so cute on you!" his littlest brother replied and his father tried not to snicker as he lifted Ed up in his arms.

"Festive!" the semi conscious alchemist exclaimed before settling back into unconsciousness. Envy glared at his father when he heard something that suspiciously sounded like a laugh.

"All three of you can bite me."

The homunculus stopped at Sheska's home first and after a brief impersonal frisk to retrieve her house keys, Envy tucked his new friend in bed and locked up. Then he hopped back in the car drove to the hotel, dropping his family at the door.

**But Envy heard his dad exclaim as his family walked out of sight,**

**"Merry Christmas son, we had a great night."**


	15. Envy's Pet

He watched it roll around in the pink ball completely mesmerized. The ball rolled and nudged his foot while inside the small creature's beady eyes blinked up at him.

The homunculi didn't understand his fascination. He was simply on his way to the hideout when he spied through the window of a random house the pink ball. It wasn't anything special, nothing about it was interesting…_until it moved_.

Envy found himself plastered to the window, rabidly watching the ball roll around the room. When he looked closer, he spied something inside. A powerful curiosity had the homunculi creeping up to the front door and checking the lock. Surprisingly it was unsecured and he immediately snuck in.

Inside, he quietly skulked into the living room where his mystery awaited and he pounced on his prize like a playful kitten. Envy held the ball up to his face and spied a brown and white spotted gerbil.

With a snicker, he placed it back on the floor and watched it roll toward a chair that sat in the corner. _It's like one of those exercise wheels, _Envy thought to himself. _There's nothing special or interesting about the ball._

He watched the gerbil bump into the chair and scramble inside its prison to hide beneath the chair. Envy felt an amused grin spread across his face as he knelt down and crawled toward the small animal. Closer and on the same level as it, he found the creature rather cute. Its fur looked soft as angel wings. When it turned around and spied him, he found its charming little beady eyes were a dark green.

Envy and the gerbil cocked their heads at one another before the small animal lost interest in the homunculi and rolled off. He crawled after the creature out of the room and down the hallway toward an unknown destination.

On the tile of the kitchen, the gerbil rolled more freely and banged into furniture more frequently. It skittered into chairs and bounced off the cabinet bottoms like a pinball. It had Envy almost rolling on the floor in stitches.

"Mr. Whiskers, I'm home!" a voice called out from the living room.

"Crap!" Envy hissed turning his head alertly for a good hiding place before he was discovered by the owner of _Mr. Whiskers_.

Mr. Whiskers rolled beneath the stove removing that option. He could have turn into a mouse or something small and duck into a dark corner… The only bad thing about that idea was the flash from Envy's transformation would draw the owner's attention and he could possibly be spotted.

The only other real option was to hide under the kitchen table and pray the owner of the house wasn't very observant. As Envy dove beneath the table to hopeful safety, _Mr. Whiskers' _owner came in.

A pair of less than attractive legs clad in shabby tan slacks, white ankle socks and loafers approached the table.

"You can't _see _me~." he whispered as he closed his eyes. "I am a tiny dust mote."

Envy's eyes snapped open when there came a loud thump above his head. He watched the legs walk back out of the room and the homunculi got a better picture of _Mr Whiskers's' _owner. She, for now that he was able to focus more Envy realized the voice he had heard was feminine.

Now not only did he realize the gender of the owner but Envy even recognized her and knew she had shoulder length brown hair.

She would have hazel colored eyes hidden behind a pair of silver framed glasses. Her face would be round and without makeup. Her manner would have to been described as mouse like, almost a mirror of her curious little pet.

Envy climbed out from beneath the table with a grin. The rough outline of an entertaining strategy began to form in his mind. But first he would need his friend.

When Sheska returned to her kitchen, she was greeted to an unusual and highly odd sight. There sitting on top of her kitchen table, wedged between her copies of The Best of the Barefoot Contessa and her mother's Betty Crocker Cookbook sat two Mr. Whiskers.

There was one with a cute twitchy nose and adorable spots inside the pink ball Sheska definitely recalled buying. But then there was another inside a clear ball. Sheska lifted the ball close and examined this Mr. Whiskers. Inside sat a gerbil with spikey dark colored fur that shone green in the light and eyes a lovely shade of violet.

And then it grinned at her.

A big fangy grin.

Sheska screamed as she snatched her hand away from the alien beast that morphed midair into Envy. He began to laugh hysterically and pointed at the frightened woman.

"You should have seen your face!" Envy exclaimed. Sheska let out an ear piercing scream that had Mr. Whiskers scrambling for cover and Envy slapping his hands over his ears with a wince.

"An alien!" she shrieked as her gerbil wobbled toward the table edge. Envy snatched up the animal before it could make a kamikaze dive.

"Don't abduct Mr. Whiskers!" Sheska cried to the homunculi's complete bewilderment. Envy set the ball down the ground with a snicker.

"I'm _not an alien _and I'm not nabbing your fur ball."

Sheska scowled and put her hands on her hips, "That's what any invading alien would say…_right before they use their death ray on everyone in sight."_

Envy cut her off before she could start screaming 'Please don't kill me with your death ray!' like he just _knew _she would.

"I don't own a death ray. I'm _not an alien_."

"The how did you turn into a freaky gerbil and then human.._ish_." Sheska demanded ending her order with a blush. Envy tried not to start laughing at her again.

"I have the ability of self contained transmutation which allows me to take any shape I desireand is not limited strictly to full body transformations." he told her matter of fact like. "This allows me to easily infiltrate areas and-"

"Is that how you got into my house?"

"No, you left the door unlocked."

"Oh." Sheska said quietly.

"As I was saying, I can pretty much turn into anyone, have body parts turn into anything-"

The woman flushed and Envy let out a frustrated growl.

"Get your mind outta the gutter."

"I think it went straight to the sewer." she replied airily looking anywhere but at the creature glaring at her in her kitchen.

"And I bet it's enjoying splashing around there."

In response, Sheska's face turned even more red and Envy burst into a fit of laughter.

"Oh my God, little Miss bookworm _Sheska _is a closet perv!" he exclaimed. "Well aren't you an interesting surprise."

"W-well- you're an alien!" Sheska exclaimed taking a brave a step toward him and began poking him in the chest. "A weirdly dressed."

_Poke_

"Dye job"

_Poke_

"Pasty skinned emo alien."

_Poke_

"With nothing else to do.."

_Poke, poke._

"But break into a woman's house!"

_Poke, poke, poke._

"At least I'm not a closet perv." he replied and from the corner of his eye watched Mr. Whiskers roll away.

"I'm not, _you _are!" Sheska retorted bowing up into his face. "How else would you know I was thinking it!"

"_Ha! _You admitted it." he shot back. "You just said you actually _were _thinking dirty about me."

Envy sauntered off after the gerbil, shooting a smirk at Sheska over his shoulder. He found the animal bumping into furniture in the living room. Soon he was joined by its owner.

"You're delusional. Who would perv on a gender bending alien plant life species of a moderate stature."

In a flash of light, instead of long spiky hair, slanted violet colored eyes, effeminate facial features and wearing an outfit consisting of dark arm and foot wraps, a skort and top, Envy had a very different look. Flowing golden locks brushing barely past his shoulders, striking honey colored eyes and strong masculine features filled Sheska's gaze. His clothes had even changed to a loose white shirt tucked into body hugging leather pants and boots.

Envy smirked at her and asked in a low sexy voice, "What about this?"

Sheska crumpled in a dead faint.

He quirked an eyebrow at his host's fallen form and chuckled.

"What an interesting reaction."

* * *

Sheska awoke the following morning with Mr. Whiskers nipping her ear. With a groan she sat up, moving her pet to her lap. She looked around her bedroom with books strewn across the floor, wondering just how she got there. The last thing she remember was...

The other person in bed groaned and rolled over tossing a possessive arm around Sheska. Pale faced, filled with rising trepidation and fear, she turned to see her bedmate.

Sleep tousled blond hair was spread across her pink pillow. A bare back with lines of red flowing down beneath the blankets. One golden eye cracked open and focused on her before he sat up, tossing the covers back with a moan.

Sheska screamed, falling from the bed onto the floor in a blind scramble.

"You're naked!"

"_Really_?" he replied with a smirk. "I _thought _I felt a _draft_."

"P-put some clothes on!"

"I thought you'd enjoy since you were perving on me last night." Envy picked up the abandoned gerbil and began to pet it. "Poor thing."

"Get some clothes on!" Sheska cried hiding her eyes beneath her hands. Envy set Mr. Whiskers down and in a flash of light, was dressed in his usual outfit. He leaned over the side of the bed and drew Sheska's hands away from her face.

Gold and hazel eyes met and a vague sensuous light swept through her. Sheska felt her cheeks warm and her heart turn over in her chest. There was something vaguely familiar about him, something she couldn't quite put her finger on.

_Maybe that's how he knew my name_, Sheska thought to herself. _How he knows I adore books._

A more realistic side told her he'd probably guessed she was described as a bookworm by everyone who knew her simply by all the books scattered across the house and the completely full storeroom in her backyard. But that didn't explain how he knew her name. Or why he looked familiar.

"Happy now?" he asked her with a small lopsided grin. "I'm dressed."

"Y-you're handsome." she breathed and embarrassment flooded her as she realized what she just said. The startled expression on his face made her mortification all the more horrible.

"Well, at least you didn't say I look like my father." Envy said to himself with a self deprecating grin. He winked at her, "I get that one a lot."

Sheska visibly relaxed since Envy's playful mood was reestablished. For a moment she watched him look around for her gerbil so he could be put back into his ball and then went into the kitchen to make breakfast.

It was while she was deciding on which Envy would like better, scrambled or hard boiled eggs that Sheska realized how absurd her actions up until now had been.

_Some guy breaks into your house, reveals he's obviously not human and just because he's got a pretty…ok he's extremely good looking__-but __**forget about that **__or his hot body….._

"What am I doing?" Sheska asked herself.

"Burning bacon?" Envy said at her ear.

She left out a scream and backed right into him in fright. It was only due to his quick reflexes that the homunculi didn't lose the ball he carried with Mr. Whiskers inside. He ended up falling on his well toned backside laughing with Sheska on top of him.

"I'm _so _sorry!" she cried climbing off of Envy, who couldn't stop laughing.

"Turn the stove off before you set the place on fire." he responded climbing to his feet. As Sheska did as she was told, she was sad to note he had transformed back into his other form. Envy caught the look she was giving him and smirked.

"So, you headed back to your mothership?" she asked nonchalantly, breaking the uncomfortable silence between them.

"Yes, I have to head _home_," he snorted. "And probably I'm going to get griped out for not walking straight there last night."

"Why's that?"

"None of your business." Envy replied and snatched a piece of bacon from the stove.

"Oh, some top secret alien mission. Gotcha."

Envy was about to scream at her again about how he was _not _an alien then explain exactly what a homunculus was when he decided upon something more devious.

"Yeah." he replied with an innocent smile. "A top secret mission to have dozens of closet perv women wonder what in the world the naked guy in bed with them did to kill time the previous night."

Sheska froze and immediately went pale. _He didn't…. _Envy snickered as he got up and patted her on the head on the way out the door.

"I'll stop by later when I get the chance!"

As he sauntered out of the house, Envy heard Sheska scream and he began to laugh.

He never knew having a pet would be so fun.


	16. I had a dream

Author's Note: Inspired by the words of Yuko Ichihara from xxxHOLiC

* * *

He knows his world is just a dream but he refuses to let go of his wish. He will not banish the horse drawn carriages on the gray cobblestone streets. He will not cast away the houses or the cathedral with its jewel like stained glass. Nor will he exile the people praying for redemption within those walls.

"Deliver us!" they plead to the heavens.

"Save us!"

He knows their prayers will never be answered but he urges them on. Him, the golden dreamer of this place. _Ask once more. Try again!_

The blacksmith works on horseshoes which will never be needed. Tailors seam dresses which will never be worn. Travelers on horses trot toward places that they'll never reach. The dream is forever endless, ceasing to change.

He wonders if his world is the only one. If he is the only dreamer or perhaps just one of many. His world for a second morph to the true reality of this place. He quickly closes that Pandora's Box before his carriages vanish, his cobblestone streets turn to ruin and the people to mere dust.

But he comes to realize he's no longer alone in his dream. In his brief lapse, just a fleeting notion, he brought forth someone new to the dream.

"Where am I?"

He stands before the dreamer, a boy, a child, a horrible beast of wakefulness. His wide hazel eyes innocent of the terror he will bring. His short sandy hair is like Medusa's coils and his _immodesty_! He tries to dress the boy like he's clothed the others in his dream and fails each time.

"You're going to have to think about clothes." the dreamer tells him sourly. Already he can sense the approaching chaos this visitor will bring.

The boy flushed cutely and scrunched up his face in concentration. He can't help but laugh at him, something the dreamer hasn't be able to do in…

"It does not require much concentration, silly." he tells the child. He feels strangely brotherly toward this newcomer and kneels down before him.

"Simply believe you are wearing clothes and…"

The boy opens his eyes and sees he now is wearing a short sleeve button up shirt and a pair of slacks. No shoes though.

The dreamer smiles as he rises to his feet, "See? Easy."

He walks away and the boy follows him through the streets of this world. He sees the horse drawn carriages, feels the cobblestone of the street beneath his feet. He hears the people praying behind the stain glass windows of the cathedral.

"Deliver us!" they plead to the heavens.

"Save us!"

"They sound upset." the boy says and the dreamer shrugs.

"They have a right to be."

"Why?"

"Because they are trapped." he sighs and tries to explain to the boy. "This is a world that doesn't change, _cannot _change. Everyone has their positions which makes this world live. The blacksmith works on horse shoes. The tailor seams dresses and the people in the church pray."

He points to each of the building in turn as he gives his explanation to the boy. It is a simple world, simply explained.

"But why do they have to do those things?" the boy asks. "Why can't the world change?"

The dreamer feels sad suddenly. He doesn't want to tell the boy the frightening secret behind the world before them. Realty intrudes momentarily in his turmoil and the boy gasps.

"Long ago, I suffered a lethal affliction which brought me much pain. I longed for escape from my agony and by chance I did. But it came at a price."

"What?"

"This world that you see around you is but a dream." the dreamer reveals throwing his hands out. "My dream of no more pain that I wished for. But only the soul can enter a world that was wished for, one's body cannot be taken into a dream."

"You're dead."

He smirked, "Sadly so are you."

"No!" The boy cried. "My brother…him and I were going to bring mom back. We had all the ingredients, the array was perfect."

"Tinkering with alchemy were you?" he chuckled. "There is no quicker way to meet the reaper than…"

"No! You're wrong." the boy screamed. The dreamer watched him sadly as the boy tried to explain "There was purple light and a thing. Full of eyes and laughter and…_so much knowledge."_

"_You saw the Gate of Solomon." he told him with a smirk._

"_Yes! It was a Gate. I didn't die."_

"_You merely had your body and soul stripped apart." he said. The boy's face crumpled and the dreamer patted him on the back sympathetically._

"_What is your name, little boy who dares to tread in God's territory."_

"_Alphonse. Alphonse Elric."_

_The dreamer is shocked and finally understands what drew the boy into his dream. Why he felt so strongly for him. Blood called to blood._

"_You mentioned you have a brother."_

"_Yes, an older brother named Edward."_

"_I am certain your brother will find a way to reunite you with him."_

_Just as those words were spoken a light penetrated the dream. It began to pull Alphonse upwards toward the other end. The boy snatched the dreamer's arm and pulled him up with him._

"_I cannot go with you."_

"_You can too and you will." Al shouted stubbornly. _

_The dreamer began floating away with the boy, as all around them cataclysmic changes began to transpire around them. The streets crumbled, the people screeched in terror, horses screamed as they vanished. Buildings fell into themselves and voids cropped up as the dreamer, their God and creator left their world._

_They stood before the Gate when the former dreamer bit Alphonse's hand forcing him to let go. He tried holding the edges of the doorway as the black hands pulled him inside. He began crying when he realized his attempts were futile._

"_Why?"_

_The dreamer cradled something to his chest and lifted it up where Alphonse could see. Short sandy hair and wide hazel eyes resting in repose. The boy gasps and loses his grip on the Gate's rim. But as he's dragged within and back to reality he hears the dreamer say._

"_Because someone has to take care of you here, littlest brother."_


	17. Cry Little Sister

In his neat crisp suit and somber tie he silently stood at the back while everyone around him cried. He refused to remove his hat and kept his head bowed, hardly revealing his long blond locks of hair. At the front, her coffin sat with her inside surrounded by white petals.

"We lay to rest Mrs. Rachel Smith, beloved wife, mother, and treasured instructor."

She cried the first time they met, her tiny baby fists waving up at him. She smelled of soft powder and sweetened milk. On her head a cap of pale red curls lay. She wore a pink and white dress with dainty lace. Her kicking tiny feet were covered with pink knitted booties.

He thought she was rather ugly.

As she grew, her hair lost those darling curls and darkened to crimson. As soon as she could, she was found always following behind him like a little duckling and he would constantly trip over her. He would knock her down and he would yell at her but she always smiled brightly up at him.

He thought she was rather insane.

When she was a child, her dresses and dolls all went away and were replaced by pants and books. Now endless questions tripped him up instead of the child shadowing his every step. _Why is the sky blue? Why are boys and girls different? Why do you not age? _He would yell at her and scream for her to leave him alone. But she would always smile and laugh. _You're so silly._

He thought she was rather stupid.

When she was a teen, she kept her long beautiful hair up and wore hand-me-down clothing that once belonged to him. She'd catch snakes for study and beat up boys. There was no time to follow him around for her days were filled with travel, adventures and study. But always for maybe an hour or so, the two of them would spar. He would harass her about her weaknesses and every mistake she made. But she would smile and shoot back with her observations about his weakness and mistakes.

He thought she was rather darling.

She left home to advance her education not long after her twentieth birthday. He received postcards regularly from her that detailed her life in the city. _The teachers are task masters. The food stinks and the housing around here is awful. But I'm learning so much! See you soon._ He eagerly awaited every penned note and worshipped them no matter how short.

It was then that he admitted and resigned to himself to the startling truth. He liked her rapier wit that was a match for his own. In four hundred years, her beauty was unmatched. The bright and happy smile that only he was witness to see. He loved her! He always had.

But one day a letter arrived instead of a card. One not addressed to him…but to the Master. _She says she's engaged to a professor of history. She sent a photo and let me say he's a dumpy fellow. But they're to be married soon and Rachel wishes for us to come for the wedding._

He refused to go.

A letter came not long after the nuptials addressed to him and he ripped it into pieces without ever opening it. More letters came meeting the same fate as the one before. Then there came a flood of postcards written by an unfamiliar hand, each hatefully tore asunder by him.

Finally with no writing except for his name and address, there came a picture. A beautiful baby boy with pale curls of red smiling up at the camera. He wore a blue and white suit with a dapper blue jacket. His happy tiny feet were covered with blue knitted booties and tiny black dress shoes.

He wrote her back asking what his name was and immediately a prompt reply came. _His name is Wilhelm. I insisted on it, _He gave the note a tear filled laugh.

_Being close as we were I had thought you could have given me away in place of my father since he died shortly after I was born. But I understand, _said one letter. He laughed as he read the next line. _I'd hate to have ruined my wedding gown by defending my husband from the fist you, no doubt wished to plant on his kisser. But it was beautiful none the less (my husband and wedding party made sure to cheer me up after I heard you weren't coming). _

_I was very sad when you never wrote back and I understand my husband even tried writing you. But when Wilhelm was born I had faith after seeing him you would respond. If you had read my dispatches, you would have been the first to know of the news of his arrival instead of being one of the last. However yours was the first picture I sent out, I wanted you to see him first. _

She became a mother again not long afterwards, this time to a girl. He was one of the first know and to receive a picture of the baby once she was born. In the photo, her older brother happily held his little sister who was crying so hard, her tiny face was red. It brought back memories of another howling infant from the past.

Shortly after her third and final child was born, tragedy struck. A train carrying her husband back from a speaking engagement lost control and derailed leaving many injured and dead, one of the later being her husband.

He was rather amazed by her strength.

She refused offers of assistance and raised all three of her children alone. When most would have faltered, Rachel marched on. She worked as a librarian aid while she fought to gain her husband's empty position and won it, proving she wasn't just a pretty face.

Her students would become the brightest in their fields because of her dedication and example. Even her children were not exempt. Her own son would replace her when she decided to retire. Her daughter would become a doctor and her youngest joined the police force.

"We remember the strength she had in life and the strength she carried with her toward death."

When she became a grandmother, it was a time of great happiness and sorrow. A new generation was being born to her. However…she learned she didn't have much time left. Unlike him, she aged and had become an old woman.

_I know you're older than me and it should have occurred to me before now, it really should have. _She wrote once, _but I never thought you would outlive me. _

_I'm not envious of you, _she revealed._ I've had a lot of time to ponder this and I feel that I'm lucky. To grow old is a gift; a special gift that can only be given once and I feel honored to have received it. _

_Ageless, you've probably watched as countless empires rose and fell like leaves on a tree. No doubt you have seen things and will continue to see things I can only imagine. To you, mere mortals are like a summer rain, briefly here but then gone away. _

_I remember once asking you why you never aged, and it wasn't your angry reaction to it that made me never ask you again. It was because you looked sad. I weep for you to be so alone, to be lost and unable to stay in the places you've always known._

_The only regret in my life,_ she told him before the end. _Is that we can't stay together._

Everyone arose from their seats as the funeral ended and walked by the coffin to say their final goodbyes. He follows the crowd forward and finally sees what remains of the only woman he loved.

The satin inside is a pale red, soft as the hair at her birth. Her hair is spread across the pillow white as the petals thickly sprinkled around her. She's clothed in a gown of light purple that was her favorite because he bought it for her.

Envy is the last to say goodbye, so he feels in no rush to leave. He reached out and smoothed back a lock of hair from her face, a gesture he had done many times before. The immortal toys with her hair, sadly noticing it no longer is as soft as it was in life.

"You look nice." he told her with a self deprecating chuckle. "Finally got to see you wear the dress I picked up for you."

He sighs and removes his hand away from her. "You always looked nice in a dress." Envy shrugged, "Shame you never thought so."

He sighs again. "So, here I am…at your funeral… like I promised."

Envy knows he's rambling and buying for time. He's afraid, even now…but he came with a purpose, to fulfill a promise he made. He had to do this.

"There's things I need to tell you." Envy rests his head on the edge of the casket, "I…um you guessed right, I _am _older than you. In fact I'm over four centuries older than you, and that's because… I'm a homunculus."

"I was afraid to tell you since most people who know tend to want to either kill or dissect me." he chuckles. "And knowing you, you'd probably try the later."

"You know, I've always loved you." he says solemnly. "From the moment our eyes met, I loved you. I know I always yelled or made snide remarks but it was because…_well_… my own father despised me, so why should anyone be there for me?"

"But you were there, even if was a short time. So, thank you."

He lays a gentle kiss to her forehead and smiles.

"Goodbye little sister."


	18. Father of Mine

He couldn't believe this was happening. It must be a dream, he thought. But he reasoned that if this were a dream, things would be slightly different. The person standing before him would be decades older and not in his late teens much like he himself was.

It was completely unbelievable. But Envy knew whenever she came to visit, chaos often followed. She was Quirky, a homunculi the Master once thought she could control as she had the others and learned far too late she lived up to her chosen name.

Like right now she was happily beaming up at Envy introducing a somewhat amused seventeen year old young man to him. An amused young man with long blond hair pulled severely back from his handsome face with shorter wisps hanging down in front of his golden eyes.

"So what do you think?" Quirky asked hopping up and down animatedly, her purple and green pigtails bouncing in place.

What did he think, Envy asked himself. He was a riot of emotions. Anger, shocked, amazed, agitated, and only wanted her to take the man back to whatever time she plucked him from and go away!

"Well.."

"Not you Envy," she snapped. "Hohenheim, what do you think?"

Envy threw up his hands in defeat as his teenage father chuckled.

"The future seems the same as the past." Hohenheim replied.

"Oh but you haven't seen the really juicy bits!" Quirky exclaimed. "Let's go up to the surface and cruise Central!"

"Don't show him that!" Envy yelled. "Didn't you tell me that if you changed the past in any way, you'd destroy the fabric of reality."

"Pfft, I already showed y'daddy around Central so I shall show him around Central now and always had shown him around Central."

"How the heck do you know?" Envy screamed back at her. "You can only time travel."

"I know because I talked to y'daddy not an hour ago and he told me I gave him a tour." Quirky shot back with. Teenage Hohenheim began silently laughing. "You're coming too."

"I'm not giving that bastard a tour!"

"Yes, my mother doesn't know the identity of my father." Hohenheim said with a smile.

"You will too because you did, have and always will."

"Don't give me that mystical BS." Envy screamed. "I'm not going to be a pawn in your stupid games."

"Why?" Hohenheim inquired with a smirk. "Quirky says you're a pawn in your mother's games."

"Shut up!"

"Envy, be reasonable." Quirky cooed. "If I get bored, I can dump you in the middle of the Flintstone's living room and let you enjoy a front row seat to the destruction of the age of dinosaurs."

Devilish glee twinkled in her lavender eyes as she asked, "You don't want to have me bored do you? I highly doubt all the red stones in the world can help against a meteor slapping you across the face."

"Welcome to Central Tours, I'm your tour guide, Envy."

Quirky and Hohenheim exchanged toothy grins.

* * *

"What's that?"

"A car."

"Who's that?"

"Looks to me he's a military officer."

"Is that armor walking?"

"Yes, that's Alphonse. Look down and you'll see Edward."

"Oh wow, he's short."

Envy began laughing. To hear his teenage father voice the same thing he thought upon first seeing Edward was incredibly funny. Quirky secretly smiled as she jauntily followed behind the two.

"I recognize that armor, it sits in my Teacher's main hall." Hohenheim asked. "Does that mean Edward and Alphonse know me?"

Quirky's mouth opened in a silent O as the laughter died upon Envy's lips. He paused and replied evenly

"They're your sons."

His father slapped him on the back and asked, "You like being an older brother?"

Did he like being an older brother? Envy thought for a moment. No, not really. They didn't know about him, never considered the possibility there could be an older child of Hohenheim and certainly not that it could be him.

However, he did enjoy toying with them. Love seeing Edward's face turn scarlet right before he let loose a long rant about being called short. He loved punching Edward and avoiding being kicked by him. He took pleasure in the inventive methods Alphonse took to his metal body. Envy giggled every time he saw Al tiptoe past someone without realizing just how much noise he produced no matter how silent he tried to be.

"It has its moments." Envy replied with a shrug.

"Quirky mentioned you and the me of this time are estranged."

"Yes."

"How'd it happen?"

"You'll see."

Hohenheim put a hand on his shoulder, stopped then turned him around. Golden eyes, full of honesty and eagerness urged Envy to answer.

"You can't change the past."

"But you can change the future." Hohenheim countered. "I know the Laws. You can't change what's already happened. But those event haven't happened yet to me, thus they can be changed."

"But you're forgetting something." Envy said with a grin.

"What?"

"To be here having this conversation, you'll have to fail trying to bring your son back to life, thus creating a homunculus, and then abandon me. If it doesn't happen, you can't be here right now."

Envy could see the gears inside Hohenheim's mind working, piecing everything together. He has a son who dies. He tries to bring him back and fails. His failure creates Envy, his abandonment of his creations places him in position to meet Quirky and her sense of humor leads her to snatch up a young Hohenheim.

He comes to a tragic conclusion. Hohenheim cannot remain with Envy because he won't be in position to meet Quirky. If he doesn't meet her, she won't take an interest in him, snatch up his father as he went to the market and meet Envy whom he was told so much about. Hohenheim cannot prevent his son's death because then Envy would never be born.

There can be no deviation from this path.

"And now it's time to go~." Quirky announced happily. She latches onto Hohenheim and slaps a wad of cash into Envy's hands.

"I went and sold some antiques but you look like you need the moneys for a drink. Ta ta, y'emo bastard."

One moment, Hohenheim stood there sadly as Quirky made faces at Envy. Then they were gone and there came the sound of air quickly rushing to fill a vacuum.

"Stupid idiosyncratic, witch." Envy muttered looking down at the handful of cash. He quickly counted it and wasn't too surprised to find there was just enough to buy himself a bottle of the good stuff.

She probably popped forward in time just to see what all she'd need, Envy thought to himself as he walked toward a place he knew.

The Never-Empty Flask was an alehouse with character. The single spacious room was well lit with oak chairs and chestnut tables scattered about. The walls were painted an interesting shade of aqua with a bar at the far end the shade of a mushroom. A sweet fragrance reminiscent of incense hung in the air as Envy opened the door and walked across the intricate design of ceramic tiles.

He sat down at a table and was rewarded immediately with a bottle of the best the place had. He wasn't surprised that he was served straight away since Quirky was known to call places ahead whenever she visited. He was, however, surprised when two glasses were set down.

"Hey." Envy said catching the waitress by the arm. "Why the two glasses?"

"A chick with funky hair said you'd have company." the woman said jerking her arm free. "And since you fit the 'dude who looks like a lady' description, you get two glasses and the best stuff."

"I hate her." he muttered as the woman sauntered away.

"Don't hate Quirky," said a familiar voice as they sat down before him. "She just has an unique perspective on things."

Her hair was blue, cut short and spiked up delicately. Her dress was modest in comparison to the usual outfits made of skin tight bright green leather with bells and lace. Envy smirked as she poured them both a drink.

"Let me see if I remember this correctly. If your hair is green and purple, you're no more than fifty years old and answer to Quirky. If your hair is red, fifty years have passed and you answer to Gee. If it's blue, you're two hundred and prefer to be called by your human name."

"Color coded for your ease." she replied with a smile.

"So now you've mellowed, we're drinking together, True?"

"Yeah, and I believe I should divulge my little plot to you."

"What is it?"

"By bringing your father here earlier," she said with a smile. "I set into motion the events leading to your creation."

Envy looked on confused as she continued.

"Hohenheim's desire to see the future was the driving force behind his search for the Philosopher Stone. It was the only way to accomplish it…and _that _in the end would enable him to change the thing he wanted the most."

Her grin turned mischievous as she spotted something by the door.

"By the way, I didn't pour the drink for myself."

Envy stared at her, baffled. First she spoke of Hohenheim and his search. Then she mentioned something important before completely changing the subject.

He shook his head and chuckled to himself. In the end, True was still Quirky. One hundred and fifty years or a million it still wouldn't alter her unpredictable personality.

"So who is the drink for?" Envy asked and she raised her hand, motioning someone toward them.

"The drink is for the young man who waited over four centuries for this day." she replied and vanished.

This couldn't be happening. It must be a dream, he thought. But he reasoned that if this were a dream, the person standing before him wouldn't look so nervous and excited. They'd be confident and full of swagger. He wouldn't sit down in front of Envy and smile at him warmly. He's simply gave him a name and then walk away.

"Father of mine."

Like times before, Quirky's words made sense only after the fact. The way his young father looked at him. The only way to accomplish the thing he wanted the most was the Philosopher Stone which could extend life. Extend it four centuries for this day, the day when he could finally do what he wanted.

He never wanted to leave.

"Hello son."


	19. Once upon a time

Once upon a time there lived a boy who died tragically before he could become a man. He was loved by his mother, who called him fondly her child of light. Servants of the house lamented over the passing of their prince. Everyone mourned when he was lost. But no one more so than the boy's father.

He was a powerful man, one who understood many things and uncovered the greatest of all mysteries. He knew secret of the Great Work and uncovered the Truth. This man saw his son's loss as a personal blow from God Almighty for his trespasses. One which he would not allow.

The boy's father used his knowledge and created the first 'little human' with his greatest failure. One that he would love but hate so very much. This being would grow and become something that had never been seen before or since.

He was always the different one. Special. Unique. Something to be envied. But instead he concealed his rareness and envied. He lied about his motivations, disguised his jealousy and hid them all behind a cheery grin and hate.

He was the one who envied and was to be envied. He was a flawless mirror image of his human self, only swifter, stronger, more resilient and virtually immortal. But it was those later traits which caused his greatest loss.

Sarcasm obscured the sadness he held inside of him. His wit spared him from facing painful memories. And when all failed, his anger kept him safe. Safe from the delicate memories of another, far happier self.

Memories of a happy man child who was once his beloved Master's child of light.

The end

_"You can't end it like that!" pouted the small child laying in the bed he sat beside. "What happened to him? Did he ever see his father? He has to!"_

_The storyteller smiled and fondly ruffled his light colored hair, "Alright fine."_

_"Yay!"_

_"Hush now, else I won't tell you."_

Years went by and those years turned to centuries. Nations rose from ashes of empires that fell before them. People lived, had children and died only for their children to follow in their footsteps and meet their own deaths.

The world of now was taking shape. The military rose to govern the nation and brave men and woman fought wars that took more lives than was saved. Children of yesterday grew into the adults of today who gave rise to progress.

And he witnessed it all with a machiavellian smile.

Time gave him a chance to learn to hide his memories of yesteryear. More like him were created by other's mistakes and they gathered around him. With them, he quickly buried the unhappiness filling his days with dutiful mayhem ordered by the Master.

Then one day, he heard of a young man with hair like sunshine and eyes like golden coins. He was called a Champion of the People for his habit of helping the common man. He considered a alchemic genius due to becoming a State Alchemist before he could shave. But it wasn't just these things that had the 'little human' seeing red. It was that this boy traveled with a very familiar suit of armor that once belonged to his father.

Memories of those happy times began to haunt him. Cheerful days spent in the sun. Learning to make flower chains with his mother while she taught him about plants. Laughing and playing with his father. Pouring through his books to make a present with alchemy…

He learned there had been a perfect wife who had baked wonderful pies and cookies. One who did laundry by hand every week. She would tucked her two perfect sons into bed and sang them lullabies or told them stories as they went to sleep. Her boys were alchemy prodigies, well behaved and best friends.

He felt true sadness when he learned he'd been replaced.

_"Did his dad really replace him?" the little boy asked all of a sudden. The storyteller chuckled and shook his head._

_"It seemed so."_

_The little boy in bed pouted, "That's mean. I hope he beats his dad up"_

_"Hush." the storyteller replied with a smirk._

When the brothers met, they didn't get along. In fact every time they met, they ended up fighting. Gleefully break bones and turn his brother's face black and blue when he wasn't supposed to. Why he did so was anyone guess. Pure hatred or he liked to do that sort of thing or perhaps so that maybe he wouldn't have to see those golden eyes so much like his own staring back at him.

He never felt remorse for his actions. He felt nothing when he thwarted his brother's desire to undo the mistake that stole their youngest brother's body. He wanted his brother to feel the same pain he felt when he was so cruelly set aside. Seeing him utterly defeated was his greatest desire.

Not until their Cain and Abel struggled ended tragically did he understand. Their father left his brothers too. They were raised by their mother and were always the different ones. They lied about their motivations. They hid the sadness inside of them too. Their quest spared them from facing painful memories. And when all failed, hope kept them alive.

So he did the only thing he could. He ended it.

_"How did he end it? What happened, you gotta tell me!" the little boy exclaimed springing from his bed. The storyteller chuckled and shook his head._

_"Get back in there." the storyteller replied as he lifted the boy up and deposited him back into bed. "This is supposed to be your bedtime story, runt. It's supposed to knock you out."_

_"But your story is so exciting! Tell me what happens!"_

_"Don't know what's so exciting about it." the storyteller muttered then sighs. "Alright, but after I do the story ends and you go to sleep. No more questions."_

_"Gotcha!"_

He sacrificed himself. He resurrected one brother and returned the other's body to him. But there was no equivalence to the exchange due to him living for so long. So instead of dying, he became mortal. The three brothers returned to the younger ones' home and were greeted by those who waited there. There was their best friend, her grandmother and…their father.

The reunion between father and sons was memorable. The two older boys took turns punching their father and screaming at him while the youngest looked on helplessly. But after a few more kicks and admonitions, the reunited family was content.

And when he was told what his eldest son had done for his younger brothers, his father hugged him and said the one thing that he had always longed to hear. Words he waited over four hundred years for him to say.

"That's my son."

And they lived happily ever after.

_The storyteller pulled the boy's covers over him and gave him a kiss on the forehead as the child smiled up at him. He checked the boy's temperature, happy to note his fever went down before rising to leave. _

_"Hey, I never got your name." the boy said. "Uncle Al said someone special was coming to see me but him or dad never said who."_

_The storyteller smirked and gave the child a wink, "You can call me Uncle Envy."_


	20. Masks

She knows that the familiar face before her isn't that of her husband. The lips that kiss her daughter on the cheek are not his. Nor does the hand that gently guides the little girl inside belong to that face.

He performs magnificently before his crowd but Gracia knows the man who looks like Maes and acts like Maes isn't Maes. She knows her husband is very much dead.

Every morning he appears inside their house for breakfast. He eats and chats with them and then leaves for work. Work that Gracia refuses to think about. Right before Elysia arrives home he reappears and waits on the porch for her to get off the bus. One month later, Gracia doesn't know what to think of this creature who wears her husband's face.

"So tell Daddy what you did at school today."

"Sure!" the little girl exclaimed and followed him giddily to his chair where he sat down and lifted her into his lap.

"Today we did crafts and the teacher said mine was the bestest."

"That's my girl!" he replied as Gracia closed the front door and ambled into the kitchen.

She begins preparing dinner in a daze. She sets the stew pot to boiling and then lays out the vegetables. Tears threaten to spill as she is mincing onions until finally Gracia places the knife down and breaks down into tears.

She sinks to the ground as a raw and primitive grief overwhelms her. She is unaware of the footsteps approaching. She does not acknowledge the person kneeling down at her side or the familiar hand reaching out towards her and stopping inches away. All she knows is a bitter cold despair crept into the caves of her soul.

Moments later she feels a pair of legs brush against her and hears the sound of rapid chopping. Gracia lifts her head and finds a young man standing in her kitchen. His long dark bristly hair is pulled back away from his pale youthful face.

She rises to her feet and watches him prepare dinner like he's seen her do so many times. Stray wisps of hair the shade of dark leaves escape his ponytail and drift into his eyes. She notes those eyes are a beautiful violet color framed by thick dark lashes.

He no longer wears the blue uniform of the military. Instead he wears a simple sleeveless black shirt that cuts off inches above the waist of his dark jeans. Gracia smiled briefly when she saw he wore no shoes and simply allowed the legs of his baggy pants to drag the ground.

Without a word or wasted gesture, he handed her a tissue to wipe away the tears and blow her nose. Once she took it, the boy returned to preparing their meal.

"Where's Elysia?" Gracia inquired. He pointed toward the ceiling and began chopping carrots.

"I see. Upstairs in her room."

She wiped away her tears and watched him scoop up the vegetables and drop them into the pot. He skated across the floor toward the spices and selected the same bottles she always used when making stew.

"I'm surprised you remember which ones I use." Gracia told him. "I've only made stew once since..."

She grows silent as he merely glances at her from the corner of his eye before gathering the bottles and slides back to the stove.

His moves there are precise and exact, a stiff mimicry of Gracia's own as she cooked. He doesn't bother tasting the broth, safe in his knowledge of her recipe and begins stirring the pot, focusing only on the stew.

Gracia knows he's hiding but what she doesn't quite know. He never speaks to her, not directly. And never in his own voice, she notices. Only the voice belonging to Maes. In fact, this was the first time she ever saw what could have been his true form. Could, but most likely wasn't.

"Who are you really?"

Gracia didn't realize she spoke the question aloud until she heard him sigh. As he turned, he transformed into Maes's likeness.

"You want _me_ to help _you_ cook? Don't you know your cooking is the best in the world?" he exclaimed jovially. Gracia didn't understand what he meant or was doing until she saw her daughter come into the kitchen.

"Here's hoping I don't make a mess of the stew." He said more for Elysia's benefit as the little girl sat at the table. She watched silently as he 'accidentally' added a dash too much salt. Gracia sighed.

There was so much she didn't understand.

Dinner was like so many in the Hughes household. Gracia brings out three bowls and ladles out stew into each one. He expresses delight as Elysia relayed every minute detail of her day. Gracia only participated slightly in the discussion, caught up in enjoying the joy in her daughter's face. They eat and then Gracia clears the table and washes the dishes.

From the kitchen, Gracia can hear Elysia playing with whom she believes is her father. She's impressed and slightly fearful of his flawless performance. The right voice, the correct words.

She could almost believe that it truly is Maes crawling around on the floor with Elysia riding on his back. That the horrible day Roy solemnly came to her home wasn't real. Maybe the funeral was merely a nightmare borne of some midnight snack.

But there are subtle hints that the husband before her was the actual illusion.

The Maes in her living room had taken off his glasses to prevent them from breaking. The real Maes only took off his glasses only to clean them, before a shower and before going to bed.

The Maes in the living room was crawling too fast. Her real husband wasn't strong enough to move that fast with their daughter on his back. No one his size and human could be that strong.

The real Maes when he saw Gracia standing in the doorway would wink at her. This person pointedly ignored her and continued playing with her daughter.

"Okay, Daddy's had enough."

"Awww!" Elysia exclaimed with a cute pout. He actually stands up with her still holding on. She squeals in delight at the surprise piggy back ride, yet another hint he wasn't Maes.

"Sorry sweetie." He tells her. "Let's go do that homework that's due tomorrow."

"Giddy'up!"

He laughs and bounces away upstairs with the little girl. But as he passes Gracia, she could have sworn she saw something unexpected.

_Did he look…sad?_

"…And so the prince and princess lived happily ever after. The End."

"Night Daddy." Elysia yawned as he tucked her into bed.

"Good night, Elysia."

Gracia waits for him outside the door, listening to what has become the two's nightly ritual. Bedtime story, tuck Elysia into bed and tell her good night then leaves. She is alarmed when her daughter sits up and snatches his arm as he turned to leave.

"You'll be here, right?" the little girl asked. He and Gracia both can hear the tears in her voice. "You aren't leaving?"

"Of course not." He reassured. "Daddy doesn't have a lot of work in the morning. I'll be right here."

Elysia lays back down and he tucks her back into bed. She smiled and closed her eyes as he stepped out, quietly closing the door behind him. Gracia is there to confront him.

"We need to talk."

A decidedly non-Maes look crossed those familiar features and he merely shrugs and followed her downstairs.

"Who are you?" Gracia demanded the moment they were out of ear shot of Elysia's room.

"Do you _really_ want to find out?" he countered. Gracia took a fortifying breath and nodded, bracing for the worst. She wasn't prepared for his answer.

"The man who murdered your husband."

Her mind refused to believe. She shook her head and her breath came out ragged. The person who came day after day, brought happiness to her daughter, whom she _allowed_ to remain was…

"_Why?_" she managed to whisper. It was all the chaos of thoughts and emotions whirling inside her would allow.

He changed and again she was faced with the young man from the kitchen. His bristly hair hangs around his face, his lovely violet eyes avoiding looking at her directly.

When she imagined who could have fatally shot her husband, Gracia could only picture some sort of monster. Unclean. Remorseless. Older than time. Covered in darkness and evil.

Certainly not the young man before her. Slightly rumpled. Indirectly kind and gentle with a subtle beauty.

"Are you asking why I shot Hughes or are you asking why I come pretending to _be_ him?"

Gracia wanted to know answers to both and yet some odd warning sounded in her brain cautioning her against it. Did she really want the answer that cost Maes his life? Did she want to know if he planned on murdering Elysia and her too?

"I didn't want to see her cry."

"What?"

"Elysia." He told Gracia, casually moving toward the couch. He sat down facing her, still managing to avoid looking at her. "I didn't want her to feel the same way I did."

Gracia collapsed on the couch opposite of him. She urged him silently to clarify his perplexing statement. _It was all because of Elysia?_

"At the funeral, I saw her begging everyone not to bury her daddy." He confessed then shrugged. "I can relate. I grew up without a father too."

"That's the reason…?"

"I originally planned just sneaking in, give Elysia a chance to say goodbye and leave. To try to make amends for what I had done. When I finally did, I found her crying in her sleep." he bowed his head and spoke quietly. "It brought back some painful memories."

"Countless sleepless nights wondering: why did he leave me?" He sighed, "What was so wrong…about being _born?_"

"I thought I was over it but seeing her crying, knowing I made her feel the same way he made me feel. That I did that to her, it actually hurt."

"I've killed hundreds." He confessed. "I've reveled in the misery of mankind for hundreds of years even curb stomped my own _brother_ but a little girl…a child I've never met…made me feel guilty."

He looked up at Gracia, an expression of purpose shown in his eyes, "I wanted to make her happy and her daddy could do that."

Gracia had been silent until now and she hated that her words would drain the content light in his eyes.

"But you're not Maes." She told him. Gracia gained courage with every solemn word. "You have to know how cruel your act is. Elysia doesn't realize you're not her father. She doesn't know and when she does it will hurt worse than the day Maes died. "

"But she _does_ know." He retorted. "She's always known."

"H-how?"

"I told her the first time we met that that no matter how much I looked like him or act like him, I wasn't her father." He paused and cocked his head innocently to the side, "Daddy is gone but her and Big Brother Envy could pretend, couldn't we?"

His tone remained unthreatening however his words seemed to take on a sinister quality. A shiver went down Gracia's spine.

"We could have breakfast and talk about school like Daddy and her would have. We could play, and do homework together. I could read her stories and tuck her in at night. It could be just like before Daddy went away…but I wouldn't ever die."

"Elysia could count on that." Envy told Gracia with a gleeful smile. "And whenever she didn't want to pretend anymore, Big Brother Envy would go to work one day and not come back. Just. Like. _Daddy_."

"And what about me?" Gracia asked and Envy again cocked his head to the side, still smiling maniacally.

"Would you like to play pretend too?"

* * *

She knows that the familiar face before her isn't that of Maes Hughes. The lips that kiss her on the cheek are not his. Nor does the hand that gently guides the little girl to the bus stop belong to that face.

But he is not alone in his grand performance. Elysia knows the man who looks like her father and acts like her father isn't her father.

She also knows that her mother is buried in the backyard alongside Envy's mother.

But her and Big Brother Envy could pretend.

_Couldn't they?_


	21. Gobble, Gobble

Sheska had been to Winry Rockbell's house many times. She knew to reach it she'd go over a bridge and past the cemetery on the outskirts of Resembool. She could almost picture it and the sign that proclaimed automail was produced here as she walked.

Her nervousness about going to Winry's house was actually due to the young man that walked beside her.

Last year at a Christmas party, she had resolved to become less of a wallflower and partook of some spiked egg nog. When she awoke in her bed the following morning, Sheska found herself wearing a cheery Santa hat that bore a reminder of a date she had made while under the influence.

For days afterwards, she couldn't remember who she had made the date with and worried she had done something horrible while drunk. It was a stray comment from her friend Edward Elric that she recalled a vague memory of that night. A dark haired young man in a Santa hat yelling at Ed's father.

Sheska cornered Ed and his brother and grilled him over the identity of the young man. As Edward confessed he too had gotten a hold of the spirited nog and passed out, Alphonse was her savior.

The date was revealed to be with their elder brother. It was he, who had driven her home and tucked her in with his hat. And obviously left her a note concerning their date, something that Al revealed his brother was looking forward to.

So she went to the place the note told her to be and Envy was there waiting for her. Not the dark haired young man she remembered but a young man who obviously was Edward Elric's older brother. Same outrageous style and long blond hair with eyes the color of the sun. During their coffee date, he gleefully explained what he was and answered every question she had asked.

Including the one about why he asked her out. His answer startled her, but wasn't unexpected: _She_ had asked him out.

"It was a novel experience and since you were such a fascinating drunk, I was curious as to how you'd be sober."

Sheska spent the rest of their date switching between blushing and laughing. She found they were both shared a love of books, enjoyed some of the same subjects and oddly enough, knew the same people. At the end, they made arrangements for another date. After that one, another.

Soon Sheska found she had a most unexpected boyfriend. One that didn't particularly care to be around his father or brothers.

Which is why she was uneasily trudging to Thanksgiving dinner with the Rockbell and Elric families. Hohenheim had begged Sheska to convince Envy to come over for the holidays and since he liked her, Envy agreed.

_But not alone._

"The weather is nice today." Dante announced carrying a basket of rolls. "Wouldn't you agree, Sloth?"

Behind the master of the homunculi and Envy's mother, the very image of Trisha Elric walked carrying a pumpkin pie in her hands. The woman posing as Juliet Douglas had changed from her typical dress suit and heels into a light colored sundress and sandals.

From the slight grin on Sloth's face Sheska knew that she was aware Envy had intentionally brought both women as an unfriendly joke on his father and brothers. Dante was a biting reminder to Hohenheim of his and her relationship and their shared unsettling past. Sloth was a cruel reminder to the Elric brothers of exactly why Alphonse couldn't have any turkey or stuffing. It was also a jab at Hohenheim and how badly he failed his beloved wife and their sons.

"Yes, Master." Sloth replied bemused. She glanced at Envy who had a protective arm around Sheska's waist, obviously a warning not to harm the former librarian and shook her head amused.

"While we're at the Rockbell's home, you may call me by my name." Dante told her. Sheska heard Envy snicker at her side.

"Does that mean I can call you, Mom?" he asked her bemused and just as bemused his mother replied.

"Mother."

Envy pulled Sheska closed to his side with a laugh and announced in a happy growl, "_I love the holidays._"

This is not going to end well.

Hohenheim seemed to be taking the sight of Dante and Sloth bearing food well. He greeted both with smiles and showed them where to place the rolls and pie they had brought. Edward and Alphonse decided suddenly to visit their mother's grave once both women walked inside. Winry's grandmother Pinako seemed deeply amused and chuckled as she stuffed celery. The only one not in on the joke, Winry warmly greeted both women and showed them to the living room. But once hostess duties were done, she took Sheska aside.

"Okay, spill. What's going on?" Winry demanded. She glanced at Envy, gleefully speaking with Dante. "I was told about Envy but why does one look like Ed and Al's mother? And why do I get the impression the other woman is someone important."

"Um, the one Envy's chatting with… _is his mother_. And Sloth? She's a homunculus too, one Ed and Al created." Sheska replied uneasily. "Envy thought since they're family too, they should come."

She sighed, "I think he's still mad at his father even though they're speaking. Bringing his former lover who's obsessed with him and the mirror image of his deceased wife, I think is Envy's idea of revenge for hurting him all those years."

Sheska and Winry glanced over at Hohenheim who had wandered into the kitchen and was attempting to sneak a bite of turkey. They giggled as Pinako smacked his hand with a wooden spoon and shooed the tall man out of the room.

"I don't think Hohenheim's going to let Envy ruin his holiday. He finally has all of his sons together under one roof." Winry said as Edward and Alphonse came in.

"Hey baby brothers! Why don't you come over here and sit." The two women heard Envy call out. "My mother was about to tell some old stories about her and dad."

Winry and all three of the Elric men blanched and Sheska laughed.

"And he's going to regret every minute." She said as Envy winked at her.

"Edward, Alphonse, which do you want to hear?" Dante asked as they trudged into the living room. "The story about how your father buried a city or how him and I met?"

"Dante, you aren't telling them about how we met." Hohenheim replied hastening to his sons' side. Envy sat forward in his seat next to his mother.

"O~o this sounds juicy." He exclaimed. "Didn't you say it was at a risqué costume ball he crashed?"

"It was not!" his father snapped.

"It was a gambling den!" Pinako called out from the kitchen. "Your father came with another woman and left with Dante."

"_Pinako!_"

"You shouldn't have drank that much bourbon. Otherwise I wouldn't have heard that story. _Or_ how you buried an entire city."

"Ask her later." Dante whispered to the two brothers as Sloth silently laughed.

"Anyone wish to play poker?" the female alchemist inquired brightly with a cheery smile much like her son's. Hohenheim groaned.

Dinner wasn't much better.

It started out fine. Hohenheim carved the turkey and afterwards Envy insisted on saying grace. With trepidation, Sheska convinced everyone to bow their heads and instantly regretted it. He said grace in Latin, just like he was taught four hundred years prior and it took two straight minutes to complete. Edward timed it.

The next incident came when Dante's rolls were silently passed up. She pouted bad enough that Sheska grabbed one just to be polite. It was when she saw Envy motioning her to not eat it that she realized that something was wrong. Curiously, she took a small bite and almost choked. All too late she realized though Dante was a master alchemist and herbalist, she was a lousy cook.

"Don't worry about the pie." Envy whispered in her ear as she gulped down tea to rid of mouth of the taste. "It's store bought."

"So Sheska, has Dante's cooking gotten any better?" Hohenheim inquired with a knowing grin. "Last time I ate something she cooked, I was bedridden for days."

"I don't think that was the _only_ reason you stayed in bed." She demurely retorted and Edward blushed, looking anywhere but at Dante or his father.

Another confrontation happen when Edward and Envy both reached for the sweet potatoes. They fought over the dish, first tugging on it back and forth and then actually elbowing one another. The food fight was easily stopped when Hohenheim jerked the dish away from both of them and scooped out one spoonful for each. It didn't stop Envy childishly sticking his tongue out at Ed seeing as he got his first.

The final straw occurred when Envy received a larger piece of pie than Edward. Sheska watched as her boyfriend graciously offered his slice to his brother, but her and Ed caught his muttered comment.

"Little baby."

"Who are you calling—" Edward began to scream when suddenly he had pumpkin pie loaded with whipped topping shoved onto his face.

"It isn't polite to yell at the table." Envy said sweetly. "Now that you're quiet Pip Squeak, would you like _another_ slice?"

Dante jerked Sheska out of harms way mere moments before Edward launched himself over the table and tackled his brother. Hohenheim placed a wall of light around the table to protect it and its contents while Sloth moved out of the warring brothers' path. Pinako merely stepped out of the way as Ed and Envy rolled on the floor, kicking and punching one another.

"I'm really sorry dinner was ruined." Sheska said to the elderly woman who chuckled as she watched Alphonse attempt to break up the fight. For his trouble, Envy kicked his youngest brother's head off and sent it bouncing off the shielded table.

"Nonsense." Pinako argued pulling out her pipe and lighting it up. "What's a family dinner without a fight?"

Sloth knocked a chair away that came flying towards Sheska then led her towards somewhere safer.

"I notice you've both been surprisingly protective toward Sheska." Hohenheim said to Sloth and Dante. "I'm amazed neither one of you have purposely done her any harm."

"Sheska's an acceptable person." Dante responded to the former librarian's disbelief. "She doesn't interfere, ask for anything or poke around into things. I don't have any reason to see her harmed."

"Envy swore bloody vengeance on anyone who lays a finger on her." Sloth told him. "I'd rather not cross someone who's survived close to four hundred years."

They heard a crash and a few words that would only a sailor would love. Hohenheim sighed, promising his old friend he'd fix whatever that had been.

Dante put her arm around Sheska and told her happily, "Given enough time together, I'm certain you'll be more than acceptable."

The young lady looked to Hohenheim, frantic for help and he chuckled.

"You should consider that a compliment. It means she might learn to like you." he said as he heard cries for mercy. The alchemist sighed adding, "Let's go see who the victor is and what's he's done."

Chairs askew, a broken vase, the shield of light shattered to pieces. The ladies found Envy sitting on top of Ed, pouring milk down his brother's throat amidst the chaos. Thankfully the dinner was left untouched, save for a missing slice of turkey.

"Drink up, Pip Squeak." The homunculi cried. "You wanna grow up big and strong like your big brother!"

"You jerk!" Ed screamed before his voice was drown by a flood of milk.

"Envy, get off your brother." Pinako said with an amused grin. "If the little shrimp doesn't want to grow, then it's his fault."

Before Edward could even begin another short rant, he had milk dumped over his head. Winry stood proudly holding the empty glass.

"Take a shower Ed before the milk spoils." She said firmly and walked away. Envy stood up and pulled his brother up after him.

Afterwards, everyone settled down. Dishes were cleared, leftovers put away and the vase repaired. Edward finished his shower and had used alchemy to remove the milk from his clothes. Soon, everyone had meandered outside.

Pinako sat in a chair, smoking her pipe. Hohenheim next to her sipping bourbon and petting Winry's dog, Den. Dante and Sloth played checkers on the steps while Ed and Al sparred. Sheska was sitting in Envy's lap with his arms around her.

"Did you have fun?"

"Oh yeah."

"Good, next Thanksgiving you can come alone." Sheska replied. "I don't know about you but Thanksgiving with _my_ family doesn't include fights."

"But Sheska," Envy argued. "What's a family dinner without a fight?"

"A normal one."

He tossed his head back and laughed.

"When has my family _ever_ been normal?"


	22. First day of school

Author's Note: For Ren and Zan- Hope you enjoyed your first day

Amestris Elementary was a school on the edge of the Central Independent School district. The building was made of aged white bricks outlined with dark gray metal and a matching metal roof. Former third grade teacher, King Bradley had recently been promoted as principal and this like a few of his students would be his first day.

As was the custom, Principal Bradley stood outside the school's doors next to Vice Principal Juliet Douglas to greet the new and returning students. A twinkle appeared in his single green eye and a warm smile spread across his face as the first car pulled into the drive.

Two blond boys stepped out and approached the two adults. The older boy held in his arms not only his bag of school supplies but another with construction paper peeking out over the edge. The younger meekly followed his brother, fearfully clutching the elder's backpack strap. When they finally reached the principal, Bradley finally recognized the blue eyed brothers.

"Hello Mr. Bradley, Ms. Douglas." Russell Tringham greeted. "Whatcha doing outside, Mr. Bradley?"

"I'm the new principal and I thought Ms. Douglas and I should come out to greet our students." He told his former student. He leaned over and waved at the younger boy, "You must be Fletcher. Are you starting kindergarten today?"

Fletcher Tringham looked up at his brother frantically. Russell patted him on the head and motioned to the adults.

"This is Mr. Bradley, he was my third grade teacher last year. That's Ms Douglas, she's the lady who kids see when they're bad." He told his little brother and added quickly, "But right now she's here to say hi."

Fletcher stepped out from the safety of his brother and waved at them both.

"I'm in Mr. Cornello's class." He told everyone.

"I hope you like listening to the radio." Bradley chuckled patting the boy on the shoulder. "I hear your teacher likes to play his radio during naptime…and sometime lets the children pick the station."

Russell led his brother away who began animatedly chatting about what music he'd want played during naptime. Ms Douglas giggled as her boss came to stand at her side.

"You failed to mention Cornello tends to put _on_ radio shows." She said and Bradley shrugged as another car pulled up.

"That can be a surprise."

The principal already recognized the little girl who jogged up to the two adults. Her long blond hair was piled up on top of her head just like always. Her blue eyes dancing with glee and she wore the same overalls she had worn last year, only now they were a tad more frayed at the edges.

"Miss Rockbell, so lovely to have you back." Bradley greeted the little girl. She noticed her doing a small double take at seeing the vice principal and laughed.

"You remember Ms. Douglas, correct." He asked leading Winry toward the main entrance and the vice principal.

"Yeah." The little girl replied. "Did you just move here? The first time I saw you was when Mr Bradley lost his eye."

"No," Ms. Douglas replied as another car drove in. "I've been vice principal here for awhile."

"Are you related to Aunt Trisha?" Winry asked. "You and her look alike."

Before she could answer, a dark skinned girl sprang out of a vehicle and ran toward Winry. Both girls squealed and hugged one another, chattering nonstop about automail before running off inside the building together.

"Must have been one of Winry's grandmother's customers." Bradley said to Ms. Douglas. The woman shook her head with a sigh.

"You didn't notice her two automail arms, did you?"

The principal chuckled as another car pulled into the driveway. A large overly happy little boy bounded up and hugged both principal and vice principal. As he marched off inside he blustered about "the Armstrong family" another boy, a quiet red head followed his friend inside.

"Goodbye Alex, Mr. Breda." Ms. Douglas said after them. The red head waved at her.

Two cars pulled in at this time. From the first, a dark haired boy and a blond girl climbed out. The little girl leaned in and said goodbye to who was apparently her father as her friend gathered both of their things. Once he drove off, both faculty members greeted the two.

"Hello Riza, I see your father is still giving rides to Roy in the mornings." Bradley said to the girl.

"Yeah, Mustang's aunt arranged it."

"Do you have Mr. Grubman this year?" Bradley inquired and the little girl nodded.

"We both do."

"Ah do tell your grandfather I said hi." The principal said as he watched the second car park. Before the doors opened, he swore he heard screaming and then four people quietly climbed out.

The first was a familiar woman with blue eyes and brown hair with honeyed highlights pulled up and draped to the side. She wore a presentable purple dress with a white apron over the top and she carried an arm full of school supplies.

The second was a young boy with long blond hair pulled back in a braid. He was dressed mostly in black except for a bright red coat and white gloves on his hands. He was coaxing a young darker hair version of himself from the car. Once out, Bradley saw the little boy wore blue shorts and a blue and yellow striped tank top.

The final person to come out caused Ms. Douglas to groan and Mr. Bradley to sigh. The eldest had apparently decided to wear a pair of dainty combat boots, a dark skort and a mid drift. His wild dark hair had streaks of green and was held back from his face by a dark headband.

"Trisha, do you need a hand?" Ms. Douglas asked taking a step toward the woman who was nearly her twin. "Ed, Al, go help your mother."

The youngest of the three took a few bags from his mother while the older two watched. Trisha Elric handed the two older boys their supplies as she took Al's hand and walked up.

"Hey Aunt Julie, Bradley drag you from your desk?" the oddly dressed boy exclaimed. Bradley turned to his coworker with a puzzled frown.

He recognized the dark haired boy as Envy Alighieri, the resident wild child of the school. He knew that his mother was a famed medical specialist and former beauty queen Dante Alighieri. Bradley also knew the boy's mother and Ms. Douglas used to go to school together but he couldn't ever recall them mentioning being sisters.

He also recognized Edward Elric despite his hair had grown so much since the school bus accident that took one of his eyes and an arm and leg from Edward. Bradley remembered they used to go to physical therapy together where he found out a lot about the little boy. He had a younger brother, Alphonse if memory served. His father was a history professor, his mother stayed at home.

He glanced between Juliet Douglas and Trisha Elric, noticing immediately what Winry had noticed between her godmother and the vice principal. Both looked identical except Juliet's hair was nearly black. Trisha's eyes were a hazel gray while Juliet's were dark blue, almost violet in color.

"Just call me Sloth." The vice principal said to the boy, drawing her boss from his reverie. "Was Danni too busy to drop you off this morning?"

"No, your sister said she'd take me." Envy said jerking his head in Trisha's direction. He smiled brightly all of a sudden, "She's a good cook. I had an omelet for breakfast."

"I'm a tad confused." Bradley announced and turned to his co-worker. "Envy called you Auntie but you're …"

"Edward, why don't you show Al where Ms Armstrong's class is." Trisha said to her son who scrunched up his face.

"Mo~m, I don't wanna." He whined. "She's a scary and mean lady."

"Wrong Ms. Armstrong, the taller one." Trisha corrected and Edward let out a loud sigh of relief.

"Come on Al." Ed told taking his little brother's hand. "I had her for kindergarten too, I know the way."

Once the two blond brothers were out of sight, Envy smiled brightly and looked up at Trisha expectantly. She smiled down at him and patted him on the head.

"You're better at explaining it." Trisha told the little boy. "Tell Mr. Bradley how Juliet is your aunt."

"Mommy and Dad had me. Then Mommy met Aunt Julie and Julie introduced her sister to my parents. Dad ended up getting married to Trisha." Envy explained.

"I see." Bradley said with a laugh, "You're Mrs. Elric's step-son and thus Ms. Douglas is your aunt."

"Pretty screwed up family huh." Envy replied and Trisha gently smacked him in the back of head. He looked up at her rubbing at the spot she struck, "But it's true! Dad and Mommy weren't even married when I was born. He was dating _you_."

"Come on, Envy." Trisha said discretely dragging him away from the faculty members. "I believe I heard Miss Ross is your teacher this year."

"Yay Miss Ross! I get to see Coach Denny act like a puppy!" Envy cried. After the child left, Ms. Douglas burst into laughter, something Bradley had never seen before.

"Can you believe that he's the child of a grad professor and a doctor?" she asked. "Two of the most intelligent people I've ever met created _him_."

"Hm, so exactly how did this happen?"

"Dante was a student of Hohenheim Elric's, she fell for him, they had a fling, and Envy was born." The woman explained. "And then he met Trisha and _he_ fell for _her_ and they ended up marrying."

"Envy's mother must have been upset."

"Not really. But then again it's kinda hard to be mad at Trisha, especially when her sister is your best friend and Trisha herself goes out of her way to be sweet to Envy." Ms. Douglas chuckled. "It works out well between them. She has a free babysitter at a moment's notice, which leaves her free to do her job and Envy still gets a loving family environment."

They heard rushed footsteps behind them and both principal and vice principal turned to see Mr. Gran dragging Edward alongside him and Miss Ross with Envy. Trisha walked behind them with a pained expression.

"These two were caught fighting in the halls." The large general like man informed Bradley. He shoved Edward before the principal. In the corner of her eye, Ms. Douglas caught Envy stick his tongue at his brother.

"Envy, Edward." Trisha moaned. "Why?"

"He called me short."

"He called me a tree!"

"Then stop dying your hair." Ms. Douglas said smothering a smile. "Your natural color is much nicer."

"_Never!_" the little boy hissed with a scowl.

"Why not?" Ed asked with candy like sweetness. "You a red head?"

"Because I got tired of blond jokes!" Envy snapped and lunged for his brother. He might have tackled the boy to the ground had not Miss Ross grabbed Envy around the waist and held him back. Safely behind Mr. Gran, Edward called him names.

"Skinny pineapple!"

"Brillohead."

"Sawed off half pint pipsqueak!" Envy screamed at the top of his lungs.

"_Envy_, _Edward!"_ Trisha snapped finally at the breaking point. She turned to her son, "I'll stop taking you to the library."

Then she turned to Envy, "And you won't have those chocolate parfaits you wanted me to make for your lunch box."

Both boys pouted and Trisha stood firm, making them shake hands then forced Envy to take Edward back to class under the supervision of his teacher and Mr. Gran.

"I apologize for my boys, Mr. Bradley." Trisha said to the principal as the boys skulked away. Before Bradley could open his mouth a voice rang out.

"You handled it perfectly."

All eyes turned to the bedazzling woman sauntering toward the adults. Her ruby lips quirked up when Envy turned and ran toward her with a happy cry. Not a dark hair or the silk on her red dress was displaced when the child hugged her.

"Dante, I'm glad you made it." Trisha told as mother and son approached. "Envy was a tad upset you couldn't come with him on the first day of school."

"I thought I couldn't but my assistant, that greedy man, went and completed all of today's work." Dante replied. She looked down fondly at her son, "So here I am, child of mine."

"Mommy, I helped make omelets." Envy said to her. "I put egg shells in Edward's."

"Envy, that wasn't polite. You have to be nice to your little brother." Dante told her son as they walked toward the school.

"I'm nice to Al." Envy argued. "He's cool."

"Your _other_ little brother."

Trisha chuckled as she followed Dante and Envy, taking her son's hand as they both walked inside. Mr. Bradley watched the four enter with a fond smile quirking his lips.

"A most interesting family you have Ms. Douglas."

"You don't know the half of it." He heard her mutter. "You haven't met Hohenheim."

"Oh?"

"Let's just say, anytime my brother-in-law is anywhere near a room of women, his wife ends up receiving roses as an apology."

"Uh oh. What did Mr. Elric do?" Bradley asked as another string of cars drove into the parking lot.

He didn't receive his answer for sometime. First he had to help Mrs. Hughes unload her third grade supplies and her infant daughter from her car. He then had to rush back outside and greet Jean Havoc as he came in the door. Next a new kindergartner threw a fit when they were dropped off and he had Ms Douglas send out the elder Ms. Armstrong, Fletcher Tringham and Alphonse Elric to calm and entice the child inside.

Next Dante and Trisha came out discussing their children. The two women laughed over their sons antics and shared a few stories about their morning.

"I can't believe you managed to get Envy to help you." Dante exclaimed. "It takes me an hour to get him even to move."

"I have three boys _just_ like him. The key is to work them against one another." Trisha replied and her fellow parent looked scandalous.

"How manipulative of you." Dante whispered. "I didn't know you had it in you. You seem so sweet!"

"It's not manipulative to tell Envy that when Ed helped me make breakfast once we ended up having runny eggs and black bacon." Trisha said with a smile. "It's a true story."

"What about your husband? Does he burn the bacon?"

"We lost two pans and had to replace a burner last time he attempted cooking." She told her flatly and both women burst into laughter.

"Let me tell you a story I heard while in college." Dante began taking Trisha's arm as they left. "It begins with a brilliant teacher's aide to a chemistry professor."

"Oh _Gawd_ no!"

"Oh yes."

The principal watched the women agree to meet up at the local pancake shop to continue their conversation and then got into their cars. Trisha in her brown station wagon and Dante in her red Porsche. The vice principal watched with a wince as the sports vehicle zoomed out followed more sedately by the larger automobile.

"And now you know where Envy gets his flamboyance." Ms. Douglas sighed. "I just hope she remembers this is a school zone and the speed limit is 35."

"If she's anything like her son, she'll find a way out of a ticket." Mr Bradley replied. "So what did of Hohenheim Elric do to warrant sending his wife flowers?"

"He's a consummate flirt." She told her boss. "Hohenheim really doesn't mean to but he's exceptionally charming around females. It's an unconscious thing, the articulate way he delivers compliments, the effect his voice has on women."

"Oh dear."

"At least she knows he's not doing it on purpose." Juliet said with a shrug. "And he always lavishes her with attention when he realizes what he did."

"And points out I chose her over a beauty queen."

Mr. Bradley and the vice principal turned toward the new voice. He stood over six feet tall; his massive shoulders filled the suit and brown overcoat. A friendly smile framed by a golden mustache and beard. Bronze colored eyes twinkling behind a pair of scholarly glasses.

In his hands he clutched three brown paper bags that he held out to the vice principal. On one bag was happily drawn smiley faces and words of encouragement on their first day. Another bore the image of bookshelves and hieroglyphs within circles. The third had horned smiley faces cheerfully grinning with sharp teeth and warning of toxic material inside.

"I was on my way to work when I noticed the boys forgot their lunches." Hohenheim explained. "You can probably figure out which belongs to who."

"Principal King Bradley meet Edward, Alphonse and Envy's father." Juliet introduced as she took the bags from the man.

"Oh!" Hohenheim exclaimed clasping Bradley's hand. "You're Edward's physical therapy buddy. I thought you were a teacher."

"I was promoted." Mr. Bradley replied shaking the man's hand. "Today is my first day as principal."

"Good luck." He told man as Ms. Douglas slipped away to deliver the lunches. "If you have any trouble with my two eldest, Mrs. Curtis will set them straight. They both were students in her martial arts course over the summer."

"Izumi? She's one of the sweetest coaches I've met."

"Not if you make her mad I hear." Hohenheim said with a familiar smirk the principal was certain he saw on a dark hair boy earlier that day.

"Anyway, must go deal with undergrads and try not to tempt any female students. My sister-in-law will drown me otherwise." He told Bradley. He turned and jogged toward the parking lot, blond ponytail swinging behind him. The principal waved as Ms. Douglas returned and Hohenheim left.

"Envy was happy to see his chocolate parfaits." She told him. "His face lit up when he saw the bag he decorated."

"Hm, Ms. Douglas?" Mr. Bradley asked. "Did you happen to threaten your brother-in-law?"

"No, why?"

"He said you'd drown him if he enticed his female students."

"Oh, I was wondering why Trisha had that hair dye."


End file.
